The Second Born
by LoveZeDemonz
Summary: What if Harry had a little brother who was sadly given up by Lily and James because of the danger they were already in with Voldemort already after them because of the one child they already have? (Full summary inside)
1. The Other Boy

**Summery: What if Harry had a little brother who was sadly given up by Lily and James because of the danger they were already in with Voldemort already presumably after them because of the one child they already have? What if little John Alexander was left at an orphanage and had to pay the price? **

**After being rescued from his abusive adoptive family, young Xander Potter is sent to live with his brother at the Dursley's and now he must learn how to start all over after living through 6 long years of near hell. Will the Dursleys accept him? Will his life he just as sad here with his aunt and uncle and what awaits him in his future at Hogwarts? Read and find out!**

 **Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Harry Potter or anything you recognize.**

 **A/N: Hello Everyone and Welcome! So I wrote this on a whim just like I've done in the past and I hope it's good! :D. Now I'm going to let you get on with your Reading...**

 **Please Enjoy!**

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 _ **[May 4th, 1981]**_

"James, Are you sure that this- that this is the right thing to do?" Sirius Black whispered to his best friend as they stood by the front door of the home that James and Lily currently resided.

"Padfoot- I have to do this he's not safe here..." James whispered back as a tear fell down his cheek and he held his now one hour old child slightly tighter.

"But James-" Sirius begsn refusing to use his friends nickname to emphasise the seriousness of the situation. "He's a two month premature magical child! We have no idea what this could mean for himself or for others around him. Plus, you say Harry's safe here, why not him?" Sirius finished forcefully and with that James could not hold back his tears any longer and without warning he began to sob.

The young Black looked straight at his friend surprised as he clutched his son tightly in his arms and cried as if the small boy were already dead. "Y- you thi- think I want to d- do this!?" he said with such emotion. "He can't stay Sirius! You-Know-Who already knows about Harry! Because there's a goddamned spy in the order and we have no bloody clue who it is!" James said now already attempting to wipe away his tears and compose himself as the infant in his arms squirnwd.

"To be honest Sirius, I don't think this place is very safe for Harry either but it is the safest for him. Nobody knows that little John is even born yet so-"

"Wait!" Sirius interrupted startled. "Do you mean to tell me that Dumbledore doesn't even know?" He asked and at James' nod, he breathed in deeply. "You really want no one to know of his existence huh?" He asked and at this James shrugged slightly as he adjusted the child in his arms.

"It's not that I don't want anyone to know he exists, it's more or less that I don't want anyone to know who he's related to." The hazel eyed man said and his friend nodded.

"And you're sure this is what's best for him?" He asked and James nodded.

"I don't want him to get hurt and I know Orphanages aren't exactly known for producing perfect results with children and I know that if I do this then John will have a difficult life but this is for the best because at least this way, he won't end up dead." James whispered as he looked down at his son and following his friend's gaze, Sirius couldn't help but stare at the tiny wrapped bundle in the hazel eyed man's arms.

"So, if no one else knows then did you..?"

"Yes I did." James stated proudly now smiling as if he were a small child who had just flown on his very first broom. "Before I'd passed out, I'd payed close attention to Harry's birth and with that and loads of research, I was able to do it." He added now possatively beaming and Sirius smiled himself.

"How much did he weigh?" He asked as he looked from his second godson to his friend who replied still smiling.

"3 pounds exactly." He said and his friend nodded.

"Kinda small don't you think?" He asked and looking up from his son, James nodded.

"Well, he is two months early. He was due to be born in early July but I suppose all the stress and worry over all this war and already having one child caused her to go into labor early." He said and Sirius nodded. "Now." he added and Sirius took in another deep breath, seemingly knowing what was to cone next.

"I have a small bag packed for him, a list of instructions and the address of the aorphange I chose, now all that's left is to say goodbye." James stated quietly and Sirius nodded with a heavy feeling in his heart.

 _ **[June 8, 1987]**_

John Alexander sat quietly huddled in the back corner of the garage as he wished not for the millionth time that day that his father would not be angry at him when he arrived home.

Ever since his adopted mother who'd taken him in three years ago had married his adopted father just a year after his adoption, the young now barely six year old had sensed a severe change would come about his life and come about his life it did. It wasn't even a slow change. John thought as he breathed on his hands to try and keep warm.

At one time, his mother or 'mummy' as he'd begun calling her after a week of being her son, had been beautiful, loving, and perfect. Then she'd married Vecton O'Lyall and that's when it happened. Love turned to utter resentment, Beauty to Black and perfect well... things were still perfect...

Perfectly awful.

BANG

He cringed and tried to bury himself even further into his corner as he heard his father for him. It was obvious that the tall 25 year old man was furious and no matter the cause it was always John's fault.

"BOY!" Tears began to Stream down his small already bruised face as he slowly crowled away from the corner and got shakily to his feet. He knew very well that the longer he waited to go, the more blows he'd receive.

That was one of the many rules of his father's that he had to follow. Always come directly to the person who called and never ever waste time because for every second wasted that was an extra blow.

Now standing on his shaking bare feet, John made his way toward the five concrete steps that led into the kitchen.

He was obviously too slow.

As soon as he reached the top of the steps and his little fingers grasped the old rusted handle, the door was yanked open and he fell forward onto his father who upon this, grabbed the small boy by the hair and threw him backwards down the steps. "How dare you touch me you filthy little piece of trash." He sneered as he walked down the steps.

As soon as his head slammed onto the concrete, John felt himself losing control. His father was obviously more angry than usual and more than likely he was out for actual blood today. "Get up you piece of swine." The man barked and not wanting to be hurt anymore, the young six year old moved his arms to push himself off of the floor but instead of moving like his left, pain shot through the young boy's right arm and his hand wouldn't move currently. It was obviously broken.

"ARE YOU DEAF BOY! I SAID GET UP!" The man bellowed as he aimed a hard kick at John's stomach. He was just on his butt when the blow hit and falling over on his side, the small boy released the nonexistent contents of his stomach and as he did this, he couldn't help but let out an ear-shattering scream.

"DID I SAY TO MAKE NOISE FROM THAT UGLY TRAP OF YOURS!" the man shrieked and no longer being able to even move the small boy whimpered and began to silently beg for god's help.

Another blow came and this time, the boy was flipped onto his back so now as he stared up at the enormous man before him, he could see the man's hatred and as he stared deep into those cold, empty dark blue eyes, John himself was suddenly filled with an emotion that he himself had never felt before but despite this he knew exactly what it was.

For the first time in his short life, John Alexander knew what hate felt like.

this man- this slimy, smelly good-for-nothing loser had nothing better to do then pick on a small defenseless child and for what reason..?

No reason other then the fact that this man was a loser!

Another kick brought him to his senses and now focusing his new found hate and looking back into his father's cold eyes, he willed himself to hate this man, he willed the lord to kill him! He wanted this man to slowly burn in the depths of-

Suddenly his father screamed and shaking his head slowly, John's eyes went wide when he realized what he was seeing.

His father, who only a moment ago had been perfectly fine was now engulfed in dark blue flames, which despite their entensity and heat did not jump onto the boy before the man and at this the young boy cried out again as all in his world went completely dark.

 _ **[June 9, 1987]**_

"Another Child but how?"

Severus couldn't even breath as he stood completely still before Dumbledore, his blood pressure rising quickly. How could Lily and that Potter have had a second child and not even Dumbldore knew about him until now? Why had Lily given him up and kept Harry? The now Potions Master took in a deep breath and letting it out slowly, he let his body relax slightly for a brief moment as the Headmaster's next words sank in.

"Severus, When Harry was three months old Lily got pregnant with another child that later she and James claimed had miscarried. Of course, this was before your spying so you didnt know. I have no honest idea why they lied or why I did not see the lie but I didn't. Lily and James had seemed so distraught that I figured-"

"Well, you figured wrong." Severus interrupted coldly and Dumbledore gave the young man a sad look.

"I know Severus but-"

"Where is he?" Severus interrupted, now bound and derterminded to not allow the old man to speak his piece.

"He's in the Hospital Wing." He said and without letting another word be spoken between the two of them, he turned and left the room, closing the door behind him with a snap.

It didn't take The Potions Master long to reach the medical wing and as soon as he entered and walked over to the bed, he gasped and took a step back in horror.

The child in the bed was barely even recognizable as a person. appearing to be the size of an average four year old, the small red headed boy was covered from head to toe in bumps, bruises, burns and scars. He lay motionless and if it were not for his slow deep breaths, one would assume he was dead but he was not and for that The Potions Master was thankful.

 _ **[June 11, 1987]**_

"So he won't speak?" Dumbledore sighed as he looked from Madam Pomfrey to the small boy who was now sitting up on the bed, wide awake. He no longer had hundreds of the injuries he had previously sustained but even still, one could tell that this child had seen his fair share in his short 6 years of life just by simply glancing at him.

"No Albus, it's like I said before. He won't make a sound, he just sits there and stares into your eyes and it's so sad. His eyes- they've seen so much and even still, when he looks at you, it's like he's taking all your pain and resting it onto his own shoulders..." She trailed off , the Headmaster looked at the boy as if reading his thoughts.

"John Alexander Potter." The old man suddenly said and the woman standing at his side crossed her arms.

"Did you-?"

"That's your name correct?" Dumbledore asked the boy ignoring Madam Pomfrey who at this, scoffed and went to go look over her charts.

The child looked up at the old Headmaster and as he did, the elder man couldn't help but mentally remark on the boys resemblance to his family; with his dark red, nearly black messy hair and his hazel colored eyes which like the madam had said seemed to see right into you just as they appeared to change with the light.

"Ju- Just John... Just John Alexander." The boy spoke in a small quiet voice that was barely above a whisper and after a moment of thought, Dumbledore nodded.

"Your full name, your birth name is Potter, that was your mum and dad's last name." He said not showing his surprise that the child actually responded to him.

"I don't like my name."

"Potter?"

"No.. I- I do- I don't like John. John is the name that my mummy used to call me." He whispered and with a nod, the headmaster thought for a moment before asking.

"Very well then, How does Xander sound? It's still your name, just a nickname of your middle name and it's not John."

He finished and after another moment of silent thought, the young boy nodded with a small smile. "Alright then." He said and with that both he and the headmaster new that this wasn't just a rescue but the true beginning for Xander Potter.

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 **A/N: Please Review with your thoughts!**


	2. The New Family

_**[June 13, 1987]**_

"A brother!? I've got a brother?!" Harry was utterly stunned as he stared up at his uncle and aunt who were looming over him, Venom with his arms crossed and Petunia with her hands on her hips.

"Yes boy, you have a ruddy brother." The green eyed boy's uncle practically growled with hatred as a thick layer of sweat covered his angry purple features.

"And he's coming here? To live with us?" Harry couldn't help but feel a little excited at these last questions for he already knew the answers. Last night while finishing up the dinner dishes, the near seven year old had overheard his aunt and uncle discussing a boy who was coming and because Harry at first had thought it to be some other relative, he had been surprised at how upset they seemed to be about the boy's coming.

"You and he will be sharing the spare room." Aunt Petunia said quietly and at this Harry's eyes widened. He had a brother AND he was no longer going to sleep in the cupboard?!

"Now don't think..." uncle Vernon suddenly said with a sneer as he saw the gleam in Harry's eyes. "That just because you have a brother now, that your life will change significantly. Your aunt and I are doing this out of the kindness of our hearts and you better understand that just because we take him in doesn't mean we can't give him back. If you or he cause any and I mean ANY trouble for your aunt and I or Dudley then we will send him packing and there WILL be hell to pay. Do you understand?" He asked and without question, the young boy nodded still internally dancing with excitement.

A moment of silence then passed, as Harry's aunt and uncle stared down at him and if looks could kill then for sure the young black haired Potter would've dropped dead on the spot. The young boy blinked and before he knew it, his uncle ordered him away to get his things ready to move into the upstairs bedroom.

"But aren't Dudley's old things in there?" Harry asked, his aunt and uncle because for sure they hadn't put in the time or work to clean out all of Dueley's old broken toys, games and ripped clothes and with his aunts sigh, he knew he'd been right in his thoughts.

"You will clean it out when you get the hell up there!" Vernon barked and without another word, the green eyed child turned on his heel and hurried toward the cupboard under the stairs, thinking about his brother as he went.

 _ **[June 15, 1987]**_

Xander sat slumped over in the back seat of the Ministry vehicle as it raced down the street at what seemed to him to be impossible speeds toward his new home. He didn't want to admit it to himself but he was very excited. He was free from his old life, free from the screaming and hateful words and best of all, he was free from the everyday beatings.

He looked down at the clothes he now wore and smiled slightly. Unlike his old wardrobe which had consisted of his two large t-shirts with all their holes and his three pairs of old underpants, his new wardrobe contained three short sleeved and three long sleeved calored shirts, six pairs of nice pants, seven pairs of socks and underpants, a pair of shoes and four sets of pajamas. Was it a lot? Probably not to most but to him, he'd hit the gold mine.

Reaching out his hand, Xander fingered the strap of the midium sized Duffke that he'd been bought to keep his clothes and a few other things that he'd been given in until he arrived at his new home, he was so anxious and scared about this new change that he couldn't help but bend his head and silently pray that all would be fine.

"Bet you're really nervous young man." Said the strict looking woman in front of him in the passenger seat next to the greasy haired driver as she turned and looked at him through her spectacles and without a word he looked up and shrugged.

The dark red haired boy had seemingly not spoken another word to another soul since his conversation with the nice old man and not caring what others thought he would continue to not speak because as his father used to say, his voice was very annoying and if he spoke then no one would ever love him and oh how he wanted his new family to love him...

He breathed in deeply as the car slowed from it's race to a chug.

They were Nearly there.

He took in another deep breath and before he knew it, the car was slowing to a stop and now there the young boy sat staring at what was now the next step to his new beginning. as he watched the perfectly manicured flowers in the perfectly groomed garden sway with the breeze, he couldn't help but wonder why these people had agreed to take him in. Had the nice old man bribed them? Or did they really care? "Come on now, get out." Xander was suddenly ripped from his musings as his head snapped up in surprise.

He nodded and unbuckling his seatbelt, he grabbed the medium sized dufflebag that the nice old man had given him and opening the door he made his way to get out but not watching where he set his feet, he slipped and rolled out landing on his hands and knees, his bag by his side.

"Are you alright?" The woman asked in a worried tone as Xander pushed her hand away and got to his feet. He nodded and made a gesture to let her know that he was just fine.

"Very well, if you are ready Mr. Potter, let us get this over with." The greasy haired man said and with a nod, the small red head grabbed his bag and tried to put it over his shoulder only to realize that it was too heavy. Now absolutely frustrated, Xander stomped his foot and made a quiet whining noise.

"Here let me get tha-"

"No!" The young boy suddenly said as he jumped in front of the bag and both adults now stared at him shocked that he had spoken. "PLEASE, I'm not weak." He begged and at this, the woman's eyes widened slightly.

"Alright Xander, why don't you give it one more try." The woman said and with a nod, the small child grabbed the bag and as he did, a broad smile briefly crossed his lips for suddenly his bag was as light as a feather.

"Alright then, let's get this done." The man now spoke and with a nod, Xander clutched his bag and hurried along after them toward the house with the number 4 on it.

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When the doorbell rang and aunt Petunia went to answer it, Harry stayed glued to the chair that his aunt and uncle had sat him in only a few moments ago. Though he couldn't help but fidget and squirm with excitement, he tried to remain as calm as possible.

After a few moments of silence while he, Dudley and uncle Vernon simply looked around, The young Potter's aunt reamerged and now trailing behind her were three people, two adults and a small boy that he thought looked to be maybe four or five. 'Isn't he supposed to be my age?' Harry thought to himself then shrugged the question away because he himself was rather small for his age although compared to his brother, he was not that small indeed.

"-This is my husband Vernon and our previous baby Dudley." Aunt Petunia was speaking to the woman who nodded in acknowledgement, then her eyes fell on Harry and she smiled. Then turning to the boy who was now hiding behind the man's leg, she introduced.

"I am Minerva McGonagall and this is Severus Shape, we work for the man who contacted you about young Xander here." The woman finished as the man practically peeled the small boy off of him and nudged him and his bag toward the Dursleys.

"Yes, yes... now we and the old man also agreed that we are deserving of some compensation for our generosity." Aunt Petunia said and with a nod, the dark haired man pulled out a thick parchment envelope and held it out to the woman for only a moment before pulling it back.

"Now, before I hand this over, I must remind you that you are only to spend out of this what you have spent on Harry in the past, the rest is for them." He glanced first at Xander who was standing awkwardly slightly away from everyone and looking at his shoes. then his gaze made it's way to the older of the two Potters and Harry could tell that the man was not impressed with his shabby clothes and ripped up shoes.

"Yes, yes we know this." Petunia said hurriedly as she made a grab at the envelope only to have Severus pull it slightly further away.

"And remember..." he added. "That we are only a wand away." With that, he handed over the envelope and turned to face the younger Potter. "You be a good boy John Alexander." he said and before the small boy knew it, they were gone and he was still there standing awkwardly in his new family's living room.

"Well boy, What the bloody hell sre you waiting for? Go show your damn brothet the room you two will be sharing." Uncle Vernon suddenly snapped and hurriedly jumping to his feet, Harry ran over, grabbed his brother's arm and dragged him away toward the stairs.

"DONTTOUCHMEEEE!" Xander suddenly shrieked as they reached the first step and just like that everyone in the room froze as the small red head ripped his arm from Harry's grasp and threw himself hack, his eyes wide as he continued in a whimper. "P- Pl- Pl- Please d- do- don't hur- hur- hurt me, I'm sorry..."

"I- I- I-" Harry stuttered as he stared at the other boy who now simply lay on the floor seemingly having some sort of attack

"Now look what you've done! You made him upset!" Vernon roared at Harry who took a step back in fear.

"I'm sorry." The black haired boy whispered quietly as the others simply now stared at Xander who at this point lay motionless on the floor in fetal position and after a few moments, he calmed and looked around, still breathing rather deeply he said.

"I- I- I- do- do- I do not like it." The small boy practically mouthed as he continued to breath deeply. "My- my- fa- fa- father- my father used to- he used to grab- me- me and-" the red head at that moment clamped his hands to his mouth, his eyes wide. he had barely been there ten minutes and already he'd broken down and as this realization hit him, he began to pull at his hair and squirm on the floor.

"WHY DID YOU TAKE ME IN! I'm no good, I'm a piece of trash! A LOSER!" The boy practically screamed and as she watched the tears suddenly flow down the small boys cheeks, Petunia suddenly felt a stabbing pain in her chest and as she watched the boy, she knew that this boy had seen so much more than a kid his age should.

"What a baby." Dudley murmered and walking toward the stairs he stepped over the young red headed boy and made his way up the stairs and into his own room.

For a few moments after that, the only sound in the room was Xander's ragged breathing and with this, all in the room knew that the boys adjusting would not be easy but in the end he would learn.

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 **A/N' I Hope you loved it and please let me know what you think!**


	3. Paradise

**[May 4th 1984]**

"Happy Birthday John!"

The small boy looked up from his morning meal to see his two best friends looking down at him, large smiles on their faces. For as long as he could remember these two other children would always be there for him and protect him and now here they were for the third year in a row, wishing him a happy birthday.

"Thank you." John nodded with a smile of his own as his two friends sat down to eat their morning meals. The taller and more adventurous of the pair of boys was another boy named Virtue who was the same age as his redheaded friend and who, with his crazy brown hair and dark brown eyes was everyone's best friend.

Then there was his second friend named Audrey Whitaker who as a five year old had stumbled upon John and Virtue in the orphanage nursery and had instantly become like a mother to them and now as she sat with them, it was obvious that she loved the two boys before her with all her heart and despite being older and overprotective, shyly clung to them no matter what.

As he sat, ate and joked with his friends about whatever small children joke about, the young boy knew that he would never forget about them for as long as he lived.

 **[May 9th 1984]**

"Really? You're adopting me!?"

Little John Alexander simply could not believe his luck as he stared up at the beautiful young women before him. He'd been hoping that she would be the one to choose him and now all his hopes had become reality.

"Yes, obviously the decision wasn't difficult." She smiled down at him and the young boy practically glowed with pride.

"Now Miriam, Are you sure he's the one you want. John is very-"

"Perfect." The young woman finished with a laugh and smiled as the Headmistress of the orphanage nodded and pulled from a filing cabinet a rather thick stack of paperwork.

John, now with the guidance of Miriam, sat in one of the chairs in front of the dark oak desk as the two adults talked and filled out paperwork and as he listened to the pair of them, John couldn't help but feel that this was the best day of his life. Miriam was a young, twenty-one year old nurse who with her blond hair and sky blue eyes could attract any sort of man and who, with all her kind heart and bouncing personality could make any child bubble over the top with laughter.

As he drifted mentally away from the office, John's thoughts shifted to his two best friends and as he thought of Virtue and how his friend had always supported him in whatever happened in their lives, a small sensation of guilt suddenly spread throughout his entire body. Then he thought of Audrey, who with her eight-year-old mother-like antics would protect "her boys" no matter what and as he thought this, John knew that all would be fine and his mind eased as his guilt began to fade..

He smiled to himself as he now became lost in his thoughts. He would really miss his friends and teachers at the Orphanage for they were all beautiful and kind people but to him, this was a chance for the better for the first time in s long time, John Alexander truly felt that he was a very lucky child.

 **[December 24, 1984]**

"Now, you'll be good won't you Johnny?"

The young boy nodded at his mother as she helped him slip on his brand new Christmas sweater. "Aren't I always good?" He asked in a mock puzzled voice and after a moment of silence she nodded and the pair of them both laughed.

It was true that young John was always a very good boy but his mother still always reminded him and then they'd laugh at how silly it all was. "So, I get to meet my future daddy today?" John then asked after a moment of silence and his mother nodded.

"You'll just love him Johnny, he's perfect!" She said as she now took her son by the hand and led him out into the living room, where he seated himself on the old faded brown leather couch.

"What's his name mummy." He asked as he stretched his arms and legs and as she first helped the young boy with his shoes then made sure they had everything they needed, her smile widened.

"His name is Vecton O'Lyall." She told him then looking at her watch, she informed him that it was time to go and with a nod, he got to his feet and danced after her as she began to sing his favorite Christmas song.

 **[May 21, 1985]**

John sat slumped over in the far corner of his bedroom as the screams that eched from the living room reached ear shattering levels.

They were at it again except this time, things seemed to get almost violent-sounding as thuds and crashes could be heard from the room where his parents were currently held up.

John breathed in deeply as a few tears fell down his cheeks. He'd tried to have faith that things would turn around, he really had but now as he sat here in his room, he knew that things would only get worse.

After their wedding on February 14th, Miriam and Vecton seemed to be the most perfect couple until the honeymoon was over and as April arrived, their short marriage had begun to fall apart. With Vecton beginning to keep his whistle just a little to wet with the lips of another and Miriam learning of and becoming addicted to the strongest of mind-numbers, there was little if anything left of this family.

 **[July, 23 1985]**

"Mummy?"

"What John? The once beautiful and happy woman looked up from the bottle she now held and her son was not anymore surprised to see how different she was with her matted and wild hair, dimmed eyes and hollowed pasty complexion.

"I- I wanna go back to- to- th- the orphanage." The small boy stammered. He'd thought quite a bit about wanting to go back and now with everything going so horribly wrong, he felt that this was the best choice. At his words, the boy's mother flared up in anger causing him to take a few steps back.

"Why? What have I done to you!?"

"It- it's not- it's not you- it's father- he-"

"What has he done to you besides work his ass off to support this family and you!" She sneered now thrusting her hand away from the bottle and pointing at him. "You have done nothing for him or me but sit about sucking off our earnings with no gratitude. You know, your father warned me about this- said I was making a mistake taking in an orphan and you know what? He was right!"

"Then can I go back?" John now quietly braved words after a few moments of silence and suddenly he was on the floor from the forceful slap to his face. To him, it honestly didn't hurt much for in the time he and his father had been living under the same roof, he'd felt ten times worse and was still alive to tell the tale.

"Hell no! I took you in and now you're mine! You hear me! Mine! I'm not going to put those poor people back through having to be around you because you are MINE!" She said and with that and a nod, the small red head got quickly to his feet, turned on his heel and raced away to his room.

That was the day his Mummy became the Mother.

 **[June 20, 1987]**

He couldn't breath, he couldn't move and short were his thoughts as the small boy curled in on himself in a futile attempt to warm his naked freezing body.

How long had it been since he'd been placed in the large empty freezer in the basement? Most likely only about five minutes but already he could feel his strength slipping away with his consciousness.

He would die here in this box.

Suddenly he was somewhere else, in a different time, a different place but there was still pain and he was on the floor...

There was still lots of pain...

Pain and fire!

Suddenly John Alexander sat bolt upright and looked around frantically only to see that he was back in the present, in his bed, covered in sweat and to his utter despair urine. tears filled his eyes and as he pulled his knees to his chest and began to cry, the door to his and his brother's room creaked open and before he knew it, Petunia walked in, a tired yawn escaping her lips.

She was just opening her mouth to tell him one thing or another when suddenly the horrid smell filled her nostrils and she sighed in pure annoyance. "Look what you've done, you've gone and pissed yourself again." She said and all Xander could do is whimper. He knew she was right and he knew that she looked down on him and thought him a horrid, disgusting cockroach. Even if she never said anything. The point is that Xander knew he was just as worthless here as he was before.

"I'm sorry..." the small boy began as he wiped at his tears. He wanted to say that he knew what she thought. He wanted to admit that he too thought of himself as a worthless freak but then he'd sound like he was trying to get sympathy and that being the last thing he wanted, he fell into a silence and then remained quiet.

"Whatever, now get up so I can help you clean up." She finally said and though she still had that hint of annoyance in her voice, the young Potter was surprised when the woman didn't grab or thrash him, he simply could not believe that he wasn't already on the floor. "What are you are waiting for? Come on now, get up." The woman said and suddenly with a nod, the boy jumped out of and away from the bed as if it were suddenly molten lava.

"I- I- I'm sorry, I really am." Xander whimpered as the woman walked over and began gathering up his sheets and as if she hadn't heard his apology, Aunt Petunia then looked at him and quietly instructed him to go take a shower and with another nod and another final whimper, the small red head made his way quickly out of the room and into the bathroom.

Nights like this one were not unusual to Xander for ever since the day he'd arrived at his relatives, it'd been very difficult for him to adjust and wetting the bed or waking up to his own shrill cries were just another part of his routine that made him the pitiful sensitive child that he was.

As he started the water, turned it to the right temperature and began to undress, Xander shook his head as he found himself remembering how he'd acted the first time they had made him enter this bathroom and take a shower. He'd been so scared of the water because of the "Games" his father used to make him play that he'd had a complete meltdown and had thrown himself to floor, screaming as if the games were heing played all over agson, at that exact moment.

As he now shook his head clear of his thoughts felt the water and gave a small smile when it was perfect, the young boy made sure he had a towel at the ready and with that, stepped into the tub and under the warm, well presurred tap.

He knew that when he got out of the shower, that there would be clean clothes waiting for him on the counter. He knew that each time he soiled himself and had to come and shower, that his aunt would bring him his clean pajamas and would take the others to be washed the next day.

His aunt was in his opinion, a saint because even though she and her husband made he and his brother do all the chores, used food as a reward or punishment most of the time and let their son pick on them all he wanted, at least they weren't being grabbed by the ear and thrown through a mirror or window, or at least they were never fed laundry soap or made to drink gross toilet water...

Xander shook his head, as he turned off the water and opened the shower curtain to see that once again his aunt had left his clothes without him noticing and at this, a small smile found it's way to the small boy's lips. His new family wasn't perfect. No, in fact they were far from it and to most they might seem borderline abusive but not to the youngest Potter. Because he knew- He knew what real abuse was like and to him this was paradise.


	4. Within Us All

**A/N:** **Hello everyone! First I would like to thank everyone for their support and I would like to say that you guys (And my absolute obsession for Harry spotter) are what help to keep me going.**

 **I would then like to ask if you guys want to see little FunFacts about Xander at the beginning or end of each chapter. I feel like I'm making him more and more real with each chapter and so I want to know if you guys would like to know more? You know little things that wouldn't be important to say in the story or thing see that might be overlooked?**

 **Please ENJOY xD**

* * *

 **[December 23, 1986]**

It was dark, very dark and John Alexander was very very hungry.

Once again, his mother had rufused to go out and purchase food and since she and her husband ate out more often then not, the small red headed boy would go without once again.

How long has it been now since he'd last eateb? Two? Three days? He'd forgotten by now but what he did rememver howevwr was that the home next door was having a Christmas party that night and so with this information, he knew he would at least get a morsel if not from them, then from their trash and as he now thought of his future meal, his mouth began to water.

He heard his name being called from upstairs and now as he wiped his lips and stood with no physical emotion to be seen on his face, John quickly and quietly prayed to whatever God that existed that his parents would either feed him or not stop him from stealing food from the neighbors as he'd often done ever since the food within the house becsme more scarce then oxygen in space and with that, the small boy made his way out of the dark basement where he'd been hiding and into the even more dark and cold house where all happiness was sucked from any and everything that entered it.

 **[June 21, 1987]**

"Aunt Petunia?"

The woman looked up from the news she'd been watching on the television and stared at Xander, a slightly annoyed look on her face. "What do you want? You're supposed to be making supper." she told him as the commercials began and she stood.

Ever since the day after his arrival, the youngest Potter had begun to help Harry with his chores and since one of those was supper, he had to help with that as well, even though he couldn't read or even reach the things he needed. He'd gotten away with using these excuses before but now Vernon was not going to have it and said that either he cooks or he starves.

He'd tried to go to his aunt about this before but she was always so busy with Dudley and other things and he didn't want her angry with him so he'd left her alone, but tonight wasn't an option, he had to say something.

"C- Can pl- please- ca- can y- you plea- please h- help me?" The boy stuttered as he now willed himself to melt into the floor from embarrassment. He knew she wouldn't help him and would probably hit him for being such a disgrace but he had to try and to his surprise, she simply raised an eyebrow and questioned what he needed help with. "I- I'm to sm- small t- to re- reach th- the thi- things I- I- I ne- need to ma- to make dinner a- and I- and I ca- I can't read." He answered after a moment of silence and even though his aunt's look of annoyance had deepened, Xander was thankful that she nodded all the same and led him into the kitchen with a sigh.

"Why didn't you tell your uncle that you'd be incapable of this task?" The Dursley asked him as she now walked through the kitchen and gathered the things they would need to make the meal.

"I- I tried." The small red head began as he followed her and helped her whenever she needed it. "He- he wou- he wouldn't listen." He added as an after thought while his aunt now began to show him how to make this particular meal.

"Look, first you make sure you have everything, then you put this here and then this there." She demonstrated, then after instructing him to wash his hands, she said. "Are you sure he understood what you were saying maybe he didn't get it because of your stuttering." She suggested and as what she said sank in, Xander hung his head in shame. It was his fault that his uncle didn't understand him because he was stupid and couldn't speak correctly.

"I- I'm sorry." The small boy whispered and his aunt shrugged her shoulders.

"I'll speak with him tonight." She said and with a nod, the youngest Potter dried his hands so he could help his aunt make supper.

* * *

After supper was finished, the table was set and after three plates were filled for the Dursleys, Petunia pulled from the cabinet two more saucers which she used to make a decent sized plate for both Harry and Xander.

"W- we bo- both get to- to eat?" The young boy asked surprised and at his aunt's nod, he couldn't help hut ask "Why?"

"Because," she began as she took the two plates and led her youngest nephew throyugh the living room and out to the back porch where she set the plates on the small, square, glass table that looked out toward the back garden. "I was told that you came here malnourished and because of that, I must keep you fed but it doesn't do me any good if you're giving half of your food to your damn brother." She finished as she then called out to Harry, who had been finishing up his chore in the flower bed.

At her words, the red headed Potter couldn't help but smile even though he did feel slightly guilty. It was true that he'd been giving Harry half of what he was fed because he didn't think it was fair for them to feed him and not his brother and so ever since the night he'd arrived, Xander has shared whatever he'd been given because in his opinion it was the right thing to do.

When Harry hurried over, he was utterly shocked to hear Petunia tell him to "Hurry and eat." Then walk away, back inside without another word.

"Is she alright?" Harry asked as he lightly tapped his temple and at that his smaller brother burst into a rare fit of laughter and after a couple seconds his older brother joined in and together as the sun set behind the house and the boys' laughter continued for a few moments then calmed as they took their seats at the table and ate their food both pleased that for once in their young lives, things looked as if they would get truly better for the both of them.

 **[July 9, 1987]**

"You know, just because mum pities your worthless face doesn't mean that dad or I do. You're nothing but a short little piece of trash." Came the repeated whisper of his overweight cousin Dudley one Sunday as he followed the youngest Potter through the house as the small boy tried to complete his many given chores for the day.

"Don't respond, he wants you to respond so do yourself a favor and don't." Xander told himself as his cousin repeated himself for the millionth time that day.

Xander knew very well that his cousin was only jealous because aunt Petunia now let not only he but also Harry eat meals even if the meals were mostly just breakfast and dinner and even if they did eat them outside.

He knew now for a fact that his cousin was jealous because this little session of reminding his cousin that he was no good and that no one loved him was not the first time that Dudley was attempting to get to his younger cousin and even though the young Dursley's tactics had been very affective in the beginning with the results ranging from the small boy simply hating himself, to him actually attempting to drink down an entire bottle of cleaner, the fact was that the words had simply lost their magic.

Ever since the last day of June- the day when Xander had been rushed to the hospital for drinking the cleaner, the verbal assaults had lost their effect because Xander had in that moment, while laying in the hospital bed, terribly sick, realized that he couldn't let his cousin get to his head and with that Xander had begun the process of simply acting as though the fat lard that was his cousin didn't even exist and as he did this, the small Potter could tell that with each day that passed, Dudley Dursley was close to losing it.

"You are nothing to nobody." The young Dursley sneered and at that moment, when he received no reaction, he got so upset and so full of rage that out of anger, did something that the small Potter was not expecting.

He pushed him down the stairs.

Time seened to slow significantly and Xander screamed as he tried with no success to grab something, anything to hold onto and as the boy's screams filled Dudley's ears, he was suddenly filled with a feeling he'd never before experienced. At that moment, Dudley Dursley felt extreme guilt that seemed to flow through his very core.

He knew he'd gone to far.

In a flash, everyone in the house was at the stairs as Xander hit the bottom with a sickening thud and before anyone could even notice him, Dudley rushed back to his room, glad that everyone else had been on the floor beneath at that moment.

Now at the bottom of the stairs with Petunia knelt beside him, Xander seemed to forget everything he'd ever felt, because in that second he himself felt nothing. He couldn't breath, he couldn't see and the only sound he could make out was a shrill scream that rang through his ears.

"Is that me screaming?" He asked himself and without another thought, the taste of iron filled his mouth and his world went black.

* * *

When the young Potter came to what felt like seconds later, he was greeted with an intense pain that spread throughout his entire body and seemed to cause him to feel as though he'd been stabbed a million times in every limb. "Was I stabbed?" He suddenly asked himself in a panicked tone but then shook his head as the memory of his fall came rushing back to him.

"I can't believe he actually pushed me. I mean, I know he's SAID he'd do it before but I still can't believe he ACTUALLY did it." The boy thought as he now looked around and took in his surroundings. He was, for the second time in ten days, at the hospital. However, this one was obviously different because the room he was currently in was nothing like the one he'd been in before.

After examining the room, the boy then looked at himself and couldn't help but breathe a soft sigh of relief at what he saw. His only two main and true injuries was his arm which was in a cast and apparently something had happened to his head for he had a bandage wrapped around it and it hurt worst of all.

"Mr. Potter." Xander's head snapped up and as he hissed in pain at the sudden movement, he looked up to see none other then the greasy haired man that he'd met just before going to his relatives now nearly a month ago.

"Y- ye- yes... umm- ummm M- M- Mr... umm..."

"Professor Snape." The man said and with a feverish nod, the young Potter asked.

"W- where are m- my r- re- relatives? Wh- where i- is H- Harry?"

"They are currently in the waiting room and will come in only after I talk with you." The man replied and with another feverish nod, Xander very carefully moved his aching body, so that he was sitting up.

"Wh- What a- are w- we- what are w- we ta- talking about?" The red head now asked after a moment of silence and as the man now took a seat in the chair next to the bed, he suddenly became worried as to the reason of this man's visit. "Please don't take me away!' He suddenly blurted and as the words fell out as a perfect sentence, both males in the room froze.

He hadn't stuttered! But- but how? How was this possible? Maybe it was the fact that he really didn't want to leave his relatives? Yes, that was it! He didn't stutter in that moment because and most likely only because he finally for the first time in his life, he felt that he was loved, even if it wasn't as much as other children received, he didn't care.

"I'm not going to take you away." The man finally said after he recovered from his slight shock. "I simply have some questions for you."

"Oh... O- Okay." The boy whispered and with that the interrogation-like questions began.

As he listened and tried his best to answer all the questions his stuttering would get so bad that he'd have to stop and take deep breaths of air to calm down, then it would be that another question was asked and the cycle began all over again until finally the last question was asked.

"Why have you been to the hospital twice in the span of ten days?" The man asked and not wanting the man to think that anything bad was being done to him by anybody in the Dursley house, he did the only thing he knew how to do and lied.

Spilling out with a completely different story of how it was all his fault, he could tell by the look of Professor Snqpe, that the man didn't believe a word of it and as he finished with his story, he suddenly felt as though something invisible was prodding at and touching his mind, as if the man before him was seeing what really happened despite Xander's false tale of selfblame.

"Thank you Mr. Potter." The man said with a nod as he stood when the small boy's story was finished. "I'll go inform your relatives that you'd like to see them." He added as an afterthought as he made his way to the door.

"I'm really really really sorry for making you cone because I'm so stupid and no good." The young boy muttered. without stuttering once more and at these words, Professor Snape froze just as he opened the door and was about to take a step out. As The Potions Master noted once more the lack of a stutter, a realization hit him so hard he took in a deep breath. John Alexander Potter only spoke with purpose and without stuttering when he felt he was telling the truth about himself and how much of a worthless child he was.

"Xander, I want you to know something before I leave and I would like it if you take what I say to heart." Began the professor as he at that moment, turned to look at the small child who stared back into the man's eyes before him with wide, shining hazel orbs "I want you to know that you are NOT bad, worthless, a nobody or a disgrace. I want you to know and understand how important you are to everyone around you, even if they don't show it, they love and care about you. John Alexander, I need you to continue being that strong boy that all of us know you are, I need you to be yourself." He finished and at these words, tears suddenly filled the small red heads eyes. No one had ever really told him such nice things and now that these things were being told to him, he felt that his heart would explode from it's sudden swelling.

"Th- than- thank you Mr. Professor Snape." Xander whispered and as the man then nodded at him and left, the youngest Potter suddenly wanted so very badly to jump up, run over to the man and wrap his arms around him in a hug and hold on but he knew he couldn't and so then settled for simply saying thank you over and over again until his relatives came in and he went silent.

* * *

As Xander lay wide awake in his bed later that night, he couldn't help but listen as his aunt and uncle silently argued in the next room. They'd waited tensely all evening to have this talk and now at half past eleven because they assumed all three children were sound asleep, they believed that now was the time, even though they knew not that one of the subjects of their conversation was very much awake and paying close attention to what they were saying.

"Vernon, he pushed him down the stairs! The stairs! He at least needs to be talked to if not grounded." His aunt was saying and before she could add to whatever she was saying, her husband interrupted her in a flustered and angry tone.

"Nothing like that would've ever even happened if those two were never forced on us in the first place." He said and at his words a wave of guilt filled the pit of Xander's stomach and he clenched his eyes shut to avoid the tears that threatened to spill from his eyes. He hadn't meant to be such a burden, he really hadn't... he breathed in a deep breath as he slowly opened his eyes and continued to listen.

"The point is that they are here and Vernon, I get it if Dudders is a bit jealous because I was just like that as a child but I never pushed my sister down a staircase." His aunt pleaded but her pleas were in vain for her husband only scoffed.

"No, but you didn't seem to care when she died which is why I don't see why you took in her ruddy children. They're just as awful as their parents and all they do is cause us trouble and make our lives significantly more difficult and..." he was saying and at that moment anything else he might've said went unnoticed by the small Potter for at that moment, he made the decision to no longer be a burden on this family.

Slowly getting out of his bed, he was careful not to hurt his cast as he made his way at a turtles pace to the bedroom closet to get his bag so he could pack his things and get out of there before he could cause anymore trouble to the relatives he loved so dearly, even though obviously they didn't seem to feel the same about him or even his brother.

After his bag was open and on top of his bed, he began to quietly pack with his clothes going in first and his few possessions in next, it only took him about fifteen minutes to finish and when he was done, he then took the bag and slid it under his bed so he could wait until the adults were sound asleep and he could slip away to be alone because even though the professor had told him differently before, he knew that all he was to any and everyone he met was a burden.


	5. Turning Point

**[June 8, 1986]**

If there were ever any such times when John Alexander considered himself extremely lucky to be alive, any night like tonight was one of those many times.

"Come on John! You have to go faster!" The small boy frantically told himself as he raced through the trees, down the wide, sloped path and toward the only place that would keep him from being hit by his father's car.

He raced toward the river.

This game of his father's was one of the more simpler favorites of the man. In this little game, Vecton would take his son and the boy's bicycle that his mother had bought him to a large and rarely used forest only a few miles away and would then have the boy race in front of him on the bike to avoid being hit.

Fear and adrenaline were the only things the small boy possessed at that moment because he knew he wouldn't make it, he never did and at this thought, a stream of tears began to roll down his cheeks, causing his vision to blur and him to swerve and wobble while still racing at lightning speed.

After a few moments of unsteady riding, the small red head now began trying to use one hand to wipe his face dry.

That's when John saw it, and a shred of hope suddenly raced through his body. "I just might make it this time!" Was his last thought before a sharp pain filled his body and all went black.

 **[July 10, 1987]**

He did it! He couldn't believe that he'd actually done it! He'd actually gotten out without getting caught.

It had actually been much easier then Xander would have liked to admit but at that moment, the small details didn't matter as he'd raced away from his relatives house on the very old never used bicycle that had once upon a time been his cousin's but was now his only real means of a quick and quiet escape.

How long has he been on the run now? Well, if he'd left at nearly two and the sky was so close to beginning to lighten then it must've been awhile right? So now the real question was, could he stop and rest? He was after all, extremely tired and knew that it was dangerous to be doing anything while as tired as he was especially if he was already being risky by steering the handlebars with one hand because his other was stuck in that damn cast.

He sighed in frustration and that's when he saw something that caused him to slow to a snail's pace and then stop. By this point, he'd just left Surrey county and was close to London when he'd seen what had made him stop.

In an ally, just outside an old abandon market was a group of about seven people, with the youngest looking about twelve and the oldest looking as though he could be Xander's grandfather, they all seemed to be sleeping except for one man who was sitting against the old brick wall of the market listening to a chipped and battered Walkman.

All was silent for a moment as Xsnder watched this man listening to the portable radio curiously. He looked on the younger side of twenty and with his dark sandy colored hair and his hard looking face, it was obvious that this man was or was once very kind and gentle yet had been through just as much as any man in his position could have.

"Hey kid? What are you doing out all on your own so early in the morning?" Came a sudden whisper which caused the young red head to nearly fall off the bicycle in fear and looking around frantically, his eyes finally came back to the young man, as he realized that it had been him whom had spoken.

"I- I- I-" the small Potter tried but of course because of his stupidness, words would not come and so he simply now sat on the bike seat looking like a complete fool.

"Calm down, it's alright." The man began as the boy before him now hegan to shake and hyperventilate.

"I- I- I-"

"Calm down, It's alright, look are you lost?" The man tried again and after a few more moments of panicked stuttering from the small Potter, he calmed just enough to shake his head and as he did this, that's when the man noticed the dark colored duffle bag attached to the back of the bike and his face filled with understanding. And now wanting to get the kid before him to further calm down, he asked, "You had to get out huh?"

At those words, Xander froze where he sat and as a result nearly fell off the bike once again but before he could, he quickly regained balance and stared into this man's eyes which he now saw were a deep, dark blue- just the same color as his father's had been, except this man's were different... This man's blue eyes, held not all the hate and anger in the world but rather they showed a sense of knowing, understanding and a burning love for all around him and not being able to take his eyes away, the young boy stared at him and as he did, The youngest Potter could tell that this man- whoever he was- understood not just everything in his own life but also everything in the redhead's as well and despite his knowing that talking to strangers was wrong, he couldn't help but carefully and quietly ask, "Did you leave your family too?"

Rhe man's immediate response was merely a weak and saddened smile and then after a few seconds, he said, "Sorta, though when I left, I was taller then a light switch."

At his words, Xsnder gave a small smile. "I'm tougher then you think." He said without a stutter and he couldn't believe how easy it was to talk to this man who by all rights was nothing but a complete stranger to him.

"I'm sure you are but this world's not a nice place for kids who don't have a home so I suggest you go back and-"

"NO!" The red head suddenly interrupted, causing a few of the others to stir in their sleep and causing the man he'd been talking with to raise an eyebrow. "I can't go back, they don't want me and all I do is cause trouble." He then continued in a whisper, glad that no one had actually woken up. He was now getting anxious and wanted to leave before this man could force him to go home and having others wake up could be very problematic.

"You honestly can't be that bad." The man said but the child before him just shook his head.

"I really am, I mean come on, just by looking at me, you can tell that I'm no good."

At these words, the man was suddenly taken up by a whirlwind of sounds, tastes, smells and sights from another place, another time and as these visions soon passed the man, then looked at the boy with a sad look for at that moment, he wasn't just seeing a troubled kid running away, but he saw for the first time in a very long time, himself as a small, troubled, frightened little kid. "You don't look half bad to me." The man finally said then in an attempt to lighten the mood, he added, "Well, I mean except for the color of that bike, it's down right ugly."

At that comment, Xander couldn't help but smile. "It's not my bike, I took it from my cousin."

"Won't he miss it?"

This time, the red head gave a laugh, "Nope, he hates exercise." Then for some reason in an attempt to impress this stranger, he added. "But I love exercise."

Easily being able to recognize the want for approval in the small boy's voice, the man smiled. "Oh Woah, really? You know, it's really hard to find people who do like it nowadays because of those television boxes and those game consoles but you really like it? That's totally awesome!" He said and at this Xander's once small smile grew then without warning, he yawned and the man raised an eyebrow and asked, "You tired?"

Now knowing he was far too tired to continue forward, he nodded. He knew he shouldn't stay here with this stranger, that he could get hurt or worse... but honestly in his opinion, what sort of pain has he not suffered anyway and if this guy really wanted to hurt him, wouldn't he have done it by now? He looked around at all those who were sleeping soundly and again noticed the youngest of the group who looked to be about twelve and as he watched him, he knew he was in no harm while with this man or any of these other people.

"You can sleep with us for a while." The man offered and shaking his head clear of his thoughts, Xsnder nodded as he got off his bike and rolled it into the ally.

"You're not gonna kill me while I'm sleeping are you?" the boy asked and at his question, the man laughed.

"What? No." He said then as an afterthought, he added. "My name's Jack by the way."

"And I'm Xander." said the hazel eyed Potter as he laid his bike against the wall and walked over to Jack.

"Nice to meet you Xander, Would you like to listen with me to my Walkman." He offered.

"I suppose so." Xander said with a shrug as he sat next to Jack and with that, the man handed him the headphones and as he listened to the music that played softly, his eyes closed and before the boy knew it he was asleep.

As soon as the older male saw that the small boy's breathing was soft and slow with sleep, he carefully got to his feet and turning toward the ally's entrance, he made his way out and into the open, as he made his way toward the nearest police station. This boy- Xander was only just a kid, and because of this, the man could not let him continue on his way. Especially not with what happened to his own son only just a year ago.

* * *

When he was awake and fully aware of the happenings around him, it was rather strange and amazing just how much John Alexander could see and discover within all that was, is or ever will be but when he was asleep, the story was very different. When he was asleep, he seldom knew where he was or why he was there. Typically when the small Potter lay deep within his dreams, he was scared and simply wanted- like all children would- to go home.

But to the young Wizard, where was home?

Surely it wasn't the old now burnt down home of his parents and surely it couldn't be the orphanage because wouldn't that contradict the meaning of an orphanage? Weren't they just a holding place for all the world's unwanted children? It's so sad how many of them there are when so many claim to want but can't have one.

He didn't know where his place in the world was and maybe he never would even though he really did want to know.

Where was his home? Where was he supposed to belong.

He felt a breeze and now looking around within himself, he felt that he was somewhere else other then where he'd fellen asleep. This place was very cold and yet very familiar and then he felt pain and he knew where he was.

There was now what seemed to be a very large shodow over him and he whimpered and began to cry as a God-sized hand seemed to reach down from the sky and grab his hair.

Then he was in the cold box again where his naked body shivered in it's attempt to keep warm.

Then he was flying through the sir toward the fast moving river of the forest as his father stepped out of the car behind him.

He couldn't feel, he couldn't see and he couldn't breath. There was nothingness and he knew for sure this time that he was dead.

Then how was he now awake as his father bent over him, a shark-like grin on the man's face. "Aw, How cute, you thought you could leave me." The man gave a laugh. "You'll have to try harder then that." He added and as the small boy's world began to fade once more he was suddenly overcome with the realization of just how sick Vecton O'Lyall really was.

When the small redhead's eyes fluttered open once again, he sat up quickly and looked around to take in his surroundings.

He was in what seemed to him to be a familiar medium sized room that was brightly lit from the light switch having been turned on. Turning his head, he saw a wide open door that led to the hallway on the wall to his left, a closed door that he knew led to the closet to the right on the wall in front of him and as he continued to look around and realize exactly where he was an overwhelming feeling overtook him completely, and before he could stop or second think himself, the small boy's eyes filled with tears as he called out the one thing he'd never been able to out loud before.

"I'm Home!"

Within seconds, his bedroom was flooded with the four people who he'd nearly left behind and although he still felt as though all their troubles were because of him, he knew he had made a mistake in trying to leave, that these people despite maybe their intense dislike for him did love and want him and as these thoughts for the first time began to circle through his mind, the young Potter became a sobbing mess.

"Xander Where have you been!? I've been on the phone with the police all morning..." His aunt was saying as she grabbed him and pulled him into her arms.

As she held and ranted at him, the small redhead couldn't help but wonder why she was so nice to him. Obviously before he'd come, she'd despised his brother and had even shown coldness toward him at first for some reason or other, but now for some reason, especially after he'd tried to drink the cleaner that last day in June she had begun to be nicer to him and his brother and he honestly had no idea why.

"Maybe she just pities your sorry face." Whispered the evil little voice that often controlled much of what the young child thought.

"No, that can't be it!" Another little voice whispered inside him and as he then began to feel confused and even more overwhelmed, he decided that the only way he'd truly ever find out is if he asked.

* * *

Several hours later, Xander sat perched quietly on the living room couch as his aunt talked on the telephone. She had called the small boy from his chores and had told him to sit on the couch until she was off the phone, then she said she would talk to him about a few new things that are going to be happening and all these things Xander now assumed were because of him and his little late night adventure.

He sighed, hoping that these new happenings would not be bad, he already felt stressed and he really didn't want anymore weight on his shoulders, especially with the prospect of school starting soon.

He closed his eyes briefly and took in a deep breath as finally his aunt hung up the phone and then turned to him with a deep sigh of her own. "Very well Xander, let's talk." She began and without a word, Xander nodded.

"I- I know I- I'm in big trouble for run- for running off like that." He whispered and his aunt confirmed what he'd said as she crossed her arms.

"Of course you're in big trouble, you stole Dudley's bicycle, left without asking and at two in the morning! what in the world were you thinking?" She began then realizing she was getting off track and repeating what had already been said, she shook her head, and continued, "Never mind all that, we'll talk more about that later. The reason I called you Xander, is because of your behavior-"

"See! I knew I was no good and now you're gonna send me away!" Her nephew interrupted in a high and distressed tone and at his words, Petunia shook her head.

"No Xander, I promise I'm not sending you away, but we are going to try some new things to help you to better adjust." She reasurred him in a soft tone.

"Li- like wh- what-? He asked in a whimper as he used his sleeve to wipe away the tears that had come to his eyes at the thought of being made to leave.

"Well, starting tomorrow, a nice man will be coming down to talk with you, he'll let you talk and he'll listen to every word you have to say, he'll help you improve your speech and he'll be there whenever you need to talk with anyone. He'll be here to help." His aunt explained and with a burning want, to not be a pester any longer, Xander nodded quietly.

"I- I hope- thi-I hope things get better."

"I do too." His aunt agreed and with that, both knew that from this day on, things would get better. The only question Xander had however was for how long.


	6. Carry On

**A/N:** **Hey guys and welcome back! Sorry it's been awhile since I updated but now I'm back with lots of ideas and hsppyfaces! I worked really hard on this chapter and made it extra long for you guys so please let me know if there's a mistake I need to fix.**

 **Anyway...**

 ** _Fun Fact:_ James named his second son John after Remus because he felt bad that they were leaving him out of everything even though he had always been a loyal and kind friend. **

**Now!**

 **ENJOY!**

* * *

 **[October 20, 1986]**

For just a little over a month of his life while he lived with his adopted mother and Vecton O'Lyall, John Alexander truly felt that he had a family.

Even if they weren't real.

For twenty days now he had seen the two loving people wherever he went and for twenty days now, he felt some sort of love.

Even if that love only came from within himself.

It's strange how if deprived of certain Necessities, a child can create in their mind, an image of someone who can give them what they're missing

First there was Ruffle who was small, with crazy sandy-blonde hair and bright blue eyes. "Brother." Was what he called John and to the other boy it was everything he could hope for. Ruffle was a wildchild, always blitzing around, making jokes which the redhead found so hilarious that when he was alone, even when he was half concious and bloody, he laughed until his sides hurt and the best part; No one else seemed to be able to see Ruffle but the other young boy and that was fine because it meant that Ruffle was invincible to Vecton and his wrarh.

Then there was Moman, Who was Ruffle's mother. She was so sweet, loving and beautiful with her long golden colored hair and dark blue all-knowing eyes, she never raised her voice and was always gentle when she held John when he was bruised and bleeding on the floor of the garage or basement. He loved these two people more then anything even though it hadn't always been that way.

At first when he'd started seeing the two pieces of himself, the small boy had not understood and had thus been utterly terrified, doing everything to try and get rid of them, at first he tried avoiding them, then telling them to go away, he tried everything even going so far as to hit his own head with his weak fists untill he saw stars to try and make them go away but with no success. By day twelve, he had come to terms with them and even found that he loved them by day fifteen.

Now here he was with Ruffle on day twenty as the sandy haired boy spoke in his usual small but excited voice about every and anything he wanted to, Then there was a crash in the kitchen and Ruffle dissapeared as he always did when John Alexander was scared and awaiting one of Vecton's ever present angry outburst.

 **[July 11, 1987]**

It was rather early when Petunia came to wake her youngest nephew for the day. The man who was to come and speak with him would be there by eleven and he had chores to complete before getting ready. For her, the day would be long but for the nervous boy who now sat up in bed with a yawn it would seem to drag on forever.

"You'll do half this morning and half this evening." She told him after he'd gotten up and dressed in the clothes he did chores in; a large T-shirt that was so large on him it reached his knees and a really old pair of Dudley's shorts that was held up by a worn old belt and hung down almost to the small boy's ankles. In this outfit, Xander couldn't help but feel like a mouse wearing a tent, but in his opinion it was better then nothing and at least wearing these he wasn't ruining his nice clothes when he cleaned.

He nodded as he took the list from his aunt and going through it in his head, he decided that he'd do the more troublesome chores this morning so in the afternoon, he'd be able to relax a bit after his visit with the man. Along with his decision to perform these tasks first, the young Potter also decided to do his least favorite first and thus, he made his way through the backdoor toward the vain of his new life, the flower bed.

Usually it was his older brother who tended to their sunt's precious garden, but once in awhile, one of his relatives would bestow the chore upon him and to be perfectly honest, despite his compliance to do the task, he hated it. From the very first time he kneeled down to tend to the earth and an army of ants literally declared war on him and attacked without warning, the small Potter had done anything he could to avoid working outside. He'd thrown a literal tantrum that first time until Petunia herself marched outside and tended to the flowers. The next few times, he simply tricked Harry into working the garden, the lawn and anything concerning the outdoors. However, now his tricks no longer worked and so here he was to his utter displeasure, working the garden and wishing he'd chosen to wait to do this until later in the day..

He worked slowly for about half an hour because of his cast and was just finally finishing up with a small smile when suddenly a stream of aunts began to flow from a nearby hill and that's when he stood, his smile fading. "Oh look, I'm finished." He said quietly and with that he turned and hurried inside to begin his second chore which was sweeping, then he dusted and vacuumed, then he washed the bathroom and finally after about two more hours, he made his way to complete his final morning chore which after his first experience had quickly become a favorate of his. He made his way into the kitchen to begin cooking breakfast.

His aunt had, after a failed attempt to speak with Vernon about not making him cook decided that she should teach him some neat tricks to help him better get to things around the kitchen and although the redhead was a bit frustrated at first at having to learn new ways of doing something that should've been simple, he eventually got the hang of everything and now making meals was one of his favorite parts of the day.

He had just stepped inside the kitchen when he noticed two things, one; his brother had awoken and was passing him by to begin some chores of his own and two; there was no need for him to cook because his aunt was already at the stove, food cooking in the pans before her. A little shocked, the small red head reached in his pocket and pulled out his list to check it and sure enough,cooking was not on it. He hadn't expected it's absence and thus hadn't checked for it but obviously his aunt had taken the morning meal into her own hands for the day, which Xander supposed was a good thing. "Mr. John called and said he'd be here a bit early, you should go get ready." He heard his aunt say and looking up at her, he now saw her looking at him so nodding, he left without another word.

 **[July 11, 1987]**

Remus J. Lupin had not expected to get the call from Dumbledore, asking him to be James Potter's youngest son's therapist, but he had accepted and now that he thought about it as he made his way to the Dursley house, he supposed it made sense. Albus, always thinking of others had known that Remus needed work, not to mention that he had been a good friend to James and Lily, before they had passed.

He sighed, wondering what the boy would think of him and hoping that the six year old would enjoy his company. Then suddenly, he stopped when he saw the house on Privet Drive labeled with a number 4 and sighing once more, he walked toward it but stopped again when he saw what looked like a police car parked outside. "Why is a police vehicle here?" The brown haired man wondered but understood when he saw the young policeman, who had stepped out of the car pull a dufflebag and bicycle out of the trunk.

He had heard of Xander's little two-O'clock-in-the-morning excursion and that was the main reason he had been called, because the youngest Potter needed some help adjusting, he needs someone to talk to, someone to understand him and Albus had felt that Remus was that person. The policeman spotted him as he rolled the bike with the dufflebag on top of it toward the house and nodded at him. "Good morning sir." He said politely and Remus returned the gesture.

"Good morning yourself, Are you bringing the young boy who lives here back his things?" He asked and the policeman nodded.

"Yes, he seems to be a troubled child, but hopefully he'll outgrow it like most children do."

"That's what I'm here for." Remus said as the pair of them walked up on the door and Remus knocked. They then waited in silence for a minute or two before they heard a muffled voice ask who it was. Making it known who they were, they only had to wait a few seconds before the door opened and Petunia smiled politely at them.

"Good morning." The woman said, retaining that smile and after greeting her back, the woman first addressed the police officer. "Thank you so much sir for bringing these things back. My nephew Xander didn't come here with much and we haven't had the chance to buy him anything so he loves his things very much." She said and as she took the things from him, he nodded and pulled out a notepad and a pen and began scribbling down some info.

"No problem Ma'am, have a small godson myself. He'll grow out of it."

"I hope so. " Petunia whispered as the officer then handed her the page he'd written on.

"The name's Shonathan Kaizer, I've written down all my info and please, if you need to, give the station a call and ask for me." He said and nodding Petunia then turned to Remus as Xander shyly walked up and the officer turned to leave.

"Good Morning... Mr. John is it?" She said as Xander took his bag from her and set it down then opened it to make sure nothing was missing.

"Yes Ma'am, I am." He said and was just opening his mouth to say something else when Xander made a noise that caused both adults to look at him.

"What is it-" began Petunia but was cut off by Xander, who suddenly jerked toward the opened front door, something in his hands.

"Jack's Walkman! This isn't mine!" He began as Petunia grabbed his arm.

"What are you getting at-?" Petunia began again but was cut off once more as her nephew ripped himself from her grasp and ran out the door and past the new man toward the street.

Remus turned and walking after him, he saw the boy not far ahead, he'd tried to get to Mr. Kaizer before he left but to no success, the man had already left in his car and now Xander was kneeling on the driveway, looking as if he were having a complete meltdown.

"Mr. Potter?" Remus tried as he kneeled beside the shaking boy and set a hand on his shoulder.

"NO! Don't touch me!" The boy practically shrieked and without hesitation, Remus pulled his hand back as the small redhead continued to cry. "Th- thi- this wa- was Ja- Jack's... H- he wa- was so- so- so- ni- nice to me." The boy gave a hiccup. "I- sto- stole- I- I didn't me- mean to! Wha- what i- if thi- this wa- th- on- the only thing h- he ha- had a- and I- I- I too- too- took it." By this point, Mr. Dursley and the other two boys that lived in the house were at the door and staring from Remus to Xander as if to see how the brown haired man would handle the situation.

"Well." Remus began in a low voice as Petunia stepped out of the house to check that neighbors weren't prying. "Did you put the Walkman in the bag?"

Xander froze and tensing his whole body, he turned and looked at the older man but avoided his eyes in fear of what he might see in them. This boy, this small, scared, fragile child obviously feared the judgement of others and that saddened Remus because who in the world could judge a boy like this in any negative way. "I- I-"

The boy looked away and this time, Remus would not let him have his way as he used one hand to turn the boy's face back toward him. "Did. You. Put. The. Walkman. In. Your. Bag?" He asked slowly but forcefully. Not in such a way that would indicate he thought the boy was slow but in a way that showed force yet care. Each word was a sentence of it's own and each syllable an entire conversation that flowed with kind determination.

Xander pulled his face out of the older man's hand and looking down at the Walkman in his hands, he seemed to contemplate his answer for a moment before shaking his head.

"What was that?"

The boy shook his head again.

"Use your words Mr. Potter."

"No." The single-word answer was quiet but the sound was there nontheless and so with that Remus nodded.

"Then you didn't steal anything."

"But-"

"No buts. In any case, What if Jack's the one who put it in your bag, what if he gave it to you? How else would the police have known where to go to get your things?" The older male said softly and as he thought more about it, the more it seemed to make sense to the boy.

"S- so h- he g- gave it t- to me? I- I didn't steal it?"

"No Xander, Stealing is when you take something that's not yours, knowing that it's not yours to take and that you shouldn't take it. Stealing is what robbers do at banks or burglars do at stores. You are neither." At this point, the small redhead was looking up at the man beside him and wiping away his tears.

"Thank you Mr. John." It was Petunia who'd spoken as her youngest nephew stood with the Walkman clutched in his hands.

"It's what I'm here for." The man nodded as he stood.

 **[April 3, 1987]**

"Are you sleeping..? Are you sleeping..? Brother John. Brother John. Morning bells are ringing. Morning bells are ringing. Ding. Dang. Dong. Ding. Dang. Dong." He was so tired, he could barely move so why couldn't he sleep..? He had done all he could to muffle the the pain and aches that ran up and down his body and singing that stupid song wasn't doing anything, he must've sang it at least a million times. A million times in the hopes that it would help him to fall back and rest... Even if just for a few minutes but out of all that million, John Alexander couldn't seem to lull himself, the only person who'd been able to use that song to get him to sleep was his mummy but she never sang to him anymore.

He whimpered, a small, shrill, defeated, sound that only amplified the already very present sadness within him and then closed his eyes for the... Tenrh..? Eleventh time..? He needed to sleep... but if his father came home and saw him resting- he had to get some rest before his father came home.

He kept his eyes closed and finally as he felt the corners of sleep coming upon him, he heard a faint whisper in his heart and smiled softly for without knowing how he knew it, John knew that the voice belonged to someone who actually loved him. "Soon." It said, "You'll be free very soon."

 **[August 12, 1987]**

"No one's going to like you, you know that right?"

It was early Wednesday morning and the Dursleys, Harry and Xander were all piled in the car as Uncle Vernon drove them through London toward the clothing store. School was approaching quickly and as a result it was time to do the annual back-to-school shopping so everyone could get what they needed.

At first Xander had been very worried because of what he'd heard from Harry of years past where his older brother had been forced to where Dudley's old clothing and was picked on mercilessly, however his worries had died ever so slightly when they received a check from the nice old man called Dumbledore just a week prior which had been attached to a note that had said that the money was to only be used on the two Potters and that if he found out that it had not, the consequences would be dire and so with that, the Dursleys had been given no choice but to take the two boys along with them so they could get what they needed for the upcoming year..

"What if I don't want them to like me?" Xander said in his mind but out loud, all he did was shrug. He needed to remember what Mr. Johm said and when someone was making him mad or upset, he needed to take a deep breath and blow away their negativeness.

Mr. John had been seeing him twice a week since July and as a result, Xander found that things were just a little better for him, not just in the house, when he was awake but also out in public and when he slept; His nightmares were only haunting him four or five days a week instead of every night now and it was always interestingly pleasant to see Mr. John for he didn't force young Xander to talk for the hour they spent with each other each session, he merely told the young redhead how his day had gone and then asked if the child would like to share his day, or even if he'd like to talk about his dreams.

At first Xander either refused to speak when around him or stuttered his way through a few sentences but as the days and then weeks went on, he found that it was getting easier to talk to his new friend. Friend... That's what Mr. John had told the young Potter he was, a friend, someone to talk with... Or not, it was always up to the young boy. Whenever he didn't talk, he was given a notebook and crayons and asked to draw what he felt or he was asked if he wanted to listen to his Walkman or look through a picture book. Time spent with Mr. John never worried Xander; no, the only thing at the moment that did seem to still worry him was the prospect of school starting.

So far they'd gotten notebooks and pencils and a binder each and even though they didn't have much money between them, the two Potters were simply greatful for what they got and were both just happy that they were being allowed to get anything at all. Xander now was anticipating the clothing he would be bought and worried that he, just like his brother would be targeted and picked on.

"No one's going to like you..." His cousin now began again in a sing-song voice after having been silent for a few seconds with no response.

"Yo- you d- do- don't kn- know th- that. " the words came out quietly and ending up sounding more like a whimper, caused Dudley to grin evily causing the small hazel eyed boy to sneer at the three chins that seemed to bounce up and down with the car.

!Yes I do."

"H- h- how?"

"Let's see..." The large boy began in a low voice that could not be picked up by the adults in the front who seemed to be ignoring their sons taunting anyway. "You're stupid, you stink, you're short you're hair makes you look like you wash it in ketchup-"

"YOU KNOW WHAT! SHUT UP DUDLEY!"

The car which was pulling into the parking lot of the clothing store suddenly stooped as all went deathly silent and everyone turned to stare at Harry.

"HOW DARE YOU TALK TO MY BOY LIKE THAT!" Vernon was suddenly turned in his seat, the front of Harry's shirt in his large hand.

"Let me go!" The green eyed boy whined as he tried and failed to pull his shirt out of his uncles grip.

"APOLOGIZE!"

"But-"

"APOLOGIZE!"

"But Dudley-"

"APOLOGIZE!"

"Al- al- alright..." The older Potter wheezed as he squirmed against the seat belt which was pulling him back while his uncle pulled him forward. "I- I- I'm sorry Dudley."

"I don't know-" Dudley began but yelped as a sharp pain filled his side where his younger cousin sat. "Fine, it's alright Harry." He said and Vernon released his nephew as Dudley gave the younger redhead a nasty look. Xander would pay for his assault on Dudley's side later and though he dreaded the thought of what his cousin might do, he knew it couldn't be that horrible or he would get into trouble with Aunt Petunia because of the cast he now wore because of the young Dursley in the first place.

"Don't you ever speak to our Dudders in that way again." Was the last words before the car began moving again only for it to stop once more within seconds as a parking spot was found.

"Yes sir." Harry whispered as his uncle turned off the car and everyone began to get out. Xander gave his brother a sympathetic look then turned back to the Dursleys as Dudley got out of the car. Vernon was glaring at the two Potters and telling his son how if he was ever hurt by the two "Disturbed" children to let him know and he'd fix it while Petunia was looking around with shifting, anxious eyes, as if making sure that no one was watching them, then nodding when she was sure it was just them out in the parking lot, she gave a sigh and looked at the four tense males around her..

"Let's get inside."

With that, They all made their way toward the store's entrance, the Dursleys in the lead, with the Potters tailing behind. "H- Hey Ha- Harry?"

The green eyed boy looked down at his brother as they entered the store and the cool air conditioning air hit them with s wave that seemed to vanish the red that had crept up their cheeks while they'd been in the hot summer sun for only a couple of minutes.

"What is it Xan?" Harry whispered as Petunia now took the lead and practically marched them like soldiers to the boys section where they would be shopping for Dudley.

"Th- thanks f- for def- defen- defending me."

Harry smiled kindly as he responded with a polite "No problem, that's what brothers are for " and at that moment, at seeing his brothers smile and hearing those words, Xander knew that his brother was not just his blood or a friend but rather also that his brother was his greatest defender.

He didn't even know why anymore he had tried to run away from the Dursley's in the first place because with an older brother like Harry James Potter around, the small, quiet and usually scared redhead felt that he didn't have to be so scared, that he could be brave, even if just a little and with this feeling in his heart, Xander felt that maybe school and continued life at his relatives wouldn't be so bad after all.


	7. Spiraling

**A/N:** **Hey guys! Pretty quick update huh? It's another long one and I worked really hard on it! Some things may seem random but trust me it's all going to come together.**

 **Sorry for any mistakes!**

 **Please Enjoy**

 **Fun Fact : John Alexander Potter's birthday was chosen because it is National Starwars Day! May the 4th be with you! xD**

* * *

 _ **[January 4, 1987]**_

Pain... Fear... Confusion...

These were the things that created one very small, very fragile soul that seemed now to be trapped inside the even more small and even more fragile body of the redheaded John Alexander.

It was cold, very very cold... Had the heat been paid? He wasn't sure, all he knew was that it was cold and then there was the man who stood over him, looming as if he were the tallest man alive, his arms were crossed and his eyes flashed viciously, clearly showing that given the chance there was nothing he'd like to do more than to snuff every inch of life out of the small boy before him. Sometimes, if this man was in just the right mood, he wouldn't hit the bioy before him more then maybe a few times, but would simply have a tear-down session where he would use for the most part only his words to bring his son to the point of insanity. This game was a favorite of the man's because it was less messy, did it's job efficiently and it was a game he could play with his son before he went to work so he wouldn't be "dirty!" when he went in.

"So boy, do you know why I've called you here?" The man asked and his son stayed quiet out of terror of what the man's response might be but with his silence, the man before him grew annoyed. "I asked you a bloody question." He snarled as he aimed a hard kick at the boy, causing him to fall with a cry of apology.

"N- no s- s- sir." Was his then whimpered response. He really hoped that his father was in a goid mood so the only injuries he would have to worry about later could be only from kicks and punches and not- he shook his head as the man before him began to speak again.

"Your mother... Your filthy, disgusting, whore of a mother-"

"Sh- she's on- only a who- whore be- because y- you let guys p- pa- pay you to- to have her!"

John clamped his hands over his mouth, he always allowed his father to degrade and belittle him but when it came to his mother, he really did try to defend her even if the favor wasn't returned and he got in even more trouble afterwards. Now laying still where he'd fallen from the last kick, he breathed in deeply, awaiting another blow but despite his comment, his father simply touched the toe of his dark work boot to his son's side and smiled his shark smile.

"You are correct there my good-for-nothing son but do you know why that is? I must have men pay to have your mother because otherwise, no one except me would have her. Just like you, your mother is disgusting and stupid and pitifully ugly. Actually, in fact, I think you're the reason she is that way now. Before she adopted your nasty ass, your mother was beautiful, smart and wonderful, she could have been and had anything she ever wanted, and then you came along and now look at her, she must whore so she can feel beautiful cause lord knows she's no longer got that spark that drew me and every one into her so long ago." He smirked as the tears began to fall down the face of the boy before him. "Then there's her drinking, she's now realized her mistake and is to ashamed to do anything so she must use alcohol to forget it all. Why do you think she allows me to punish you, she knows your a disgusting, piece of filth and knows she can't fix you, so she allows me to tame you."

The boy before him was now absolutely gone as he turned away and buried his face into the dirty dark colored carpet of the living room. He'd heard this all before, even in the exact same way, however that didn't stop the hurt that was caused. John knew it was all his fault, that he was the reason his mother was a ness, that he'd driven her into utter hell, that everything, that it was all his fault.

"Now, for the reason I've called you here." Vecton O'Lyall said and at his words, John shivered as deep fear rolled through him, for the man standing over him was no longer smiling and his tone was rising with anger. With this realization, it became clear that this was not a game but was only a punishment that was very misleading and at hs father's next words, John knew that this session with the man was only going to get worse. "Your mother says she received a very interesting telephone call from Mrs. Reuzoque next door... So John?" The boot was removed from his side then and placed on his stomach. "What the bloody hell were you doing next door. "

 _ **[August 20, 1987]**_

"A- Aunt Marge..."

Harry looked mortified as he stared up at his relatives from across the table where he was seated, next to Xander as they ate their rather small breakfast. After that day when they'd gotten their school things, Dudley had gotten back at his younger cousin by stealing and then breaking all of his pencils before returning them and as a result, the small redhead had cried as he told Vernon what had happened because Aunt Petunia had been busy out of the house, only to have the large man glare at him and call him a lying, good-for-nothing leech which in turn made Xander not only cry himself to sleep that night but also caused him to cease verbal communication to everyone and to the boy's brother's, Mr. John's and even Aunt Petunia's utter dismay, he still wasn't speaking.

"Yes Aunt Marge." Came Vernon's snipped response as he shoved a large spoonful of his food into his large purple face and Dudley gave a smirk and a snicker.

"Why? Worried about Taz?" At that remark, Harry tried to glare at his cousin but failed due to the apparent fear that showed not only in his eyes but all over his was just one of his Aunt Marge's many precious dogs that she owned and in Harry's opinion, he was one of the worst besides Ripper. Aunt Marge had brought Taz over to stay with her when Harry was two and the larger dog had attacked Harry and had nearly killed him before Aunt Petunia had run in screaming and had saved her nephew. After that, Harry not only dreaded his uncle Vernon's sister"s visits but also was inclined to stay away from any dog that was bigger then himself.

Dudley gave a laugh. "Taz's not that bad, is he dad?"

"No, I wouldn't say he is at all."

"You only say that because you're not the one he bit in the face."

"Why you-" Uncle Vernon began but closed his mouth when his wife stood up.

"Alright." Now began Petunia as she noticed the dark look that had begun to form in her younger nephew's eyes. Xander may not know or understand why exactly Harry disliked his Aunt Marge so much more then he did the relatives they were living with, but he did know that this discussion was making Harry upset and if they were going to sit here and harass his brother, he was not going to take that Mr. John, Harry had been his only real friend and so he would throw a fit if he had to, to get them to leave his brother alone.

"Doesn't the kid have an appointment today with... Mr. John is it?" Vernon asked his wife, deciding that he too, did not want a tantrum from his youngest nephew.

Petunia nodded as Dudley requested more of the cooked meal and the two Potters got up to go upstairs. "His appointment's at eleven."

"Alright then." Vernon turned to look at Xander who was just following Harry from the room. "He better remember to be ready by the time this man comes."

* * *

"So, how are you today Mr. Potter?" Mr. John asked later that day after he had told the young redhead about his own day so far.

Xander didn't answer, just simply crossed his arms and allowed his eyes to flash, like his father's used to when he was speaking with his son. Harry had told his silent brother about Aunt Marge when they'd gone upstairs and Xander was furious that the large woman was coming and also scared that one of her dogs might attack him.

"Not happy I see." The older brown haired man said and the boy before him nodded. "Can you tell me why?"

At Xander's lack of response, Mr. John then held up a box of crayons and a notebook. "Can you draw me why then?" He asked and with a nod the hazel eyed boy took the supplies from the man and began to draw on one of the blank pages.

In his picture, Xander drew the best he could, a stick picture of a scary woman who looked like uncle Vernon and a large, evil looking dog that was attacking a tiny stick figure of Harry, then he drew a speech bubble around the picture and drew the bubble coming from a bigger stick figure of Harry, who was telling the story to Xander, who drew himself as merely a green squiggle.

"Who is that woman?"

Xander looked up at him briefly before turning the page and drawing a picture of a man and a woman, then a picture of Uncle Vernon and Aunt Marge standing side-by-side in front of the bigger woman and man.

"So, she's your Uncle Vernon's sister?"

Xander nodded and finally, Mr. John sighed. "Are you happy here Xander?" Surprised by the question, the small Potter looked up at the brown haired man before him with a raised eyebrow, then shrugged.

"Are you happy here?" Mr. John repeated, wanting an answer and this time, after a moment of thought, Xander nodded.

"Then why aren't you talking? You were doing so well..." Now getting frustrated because nobody seemed to get that he didn't deserve to speak the hazel eyed boy rolled his eyes, and stopped listening to the older man and began to draw another picture without really thinking at all about what he was creating.

At first he just scribbled on a page, then he turned the page and still not really thinking, drew something that had been bothering him in his sleep for quite awhile. In his dreams, the young Potter often relived his days as John and now taking the dream he'd had just the night prior, he drew another green squiggle as himself except this time, all over the squiggke, he added red and purple dots and then in front of himself, he drew a square that had buttons and a picture on it- "Mr. Potter..." Xander looked up and as he did, he realized that without knowing it, while drawing the picture he'd started crying and now Mr. John was looking at him with concern. "Are you-?"

Tears still streaming, and now cheeks red with embarrassment Xander shook his head rapidly to let the man know that he didn't want to discuss the picture, he didn't want to talk because he was apparently a lair, he didn't want to talk about the picture because that would mean admitting to one of the many things he'd done as a very small child. Talking about what this simple drawing meant telling Mr. John that whenever his next door neighbor's were away and his parents were either passed out or away, that he would pick his neighbors lock and steal their food and watch their television even though it was in French and he couldn't understand it but he'd done it anyway because it's all he'd had for so very long besides the beatings and starvation and the words and then his father had found out because the neighbors had put up cameras and- he shook his head again as a fresh wave of tears began to fall down his cheeks.

"Do you like television Mr. Potter?" The brown haired man suddenly asked softly as he gently took the crayons and the notebook from Xander who at this question looked up and gave a slight nod as he began trying to wipe hia face which now was not just tear streaked but was also covered in mucus from his crying. "What do you like to watch?"

Xander shrugged, he could not read nor ever understand what he'd been watching so even if he would talk, he of course could not tell Mr. John what he liked to watch.

"Do the Dursley's allow you to watch television?" The boy shrugged again. It wasn't necessarily that he and his brother weren't allowed to watch television but more rather that Dudley always had his fat face glued to it from the time he awoke until bedtime and on the rare day where that wasn't the case, the two Potters seemed to always be too busy finishing up their chores to watch anything.

"Hmm, How about I ask your aunt and uncle..." He trailed off as Xander finished clearing his face and yawned, he was now a little tired and just wanted to be alone and just as he was about to signal this to the brown haired man, the door to the room where they were sitting opened and Petunia stuck her head inside.

"Mr. John, I don't mean to cut things just a couple minutes short, but lunch is ready."

"Oh no, it's quite alright ma'am, we were just finishing up.." He smiled at her, then glanced at Xander before looking back her way. "However, may I speak with you for a moment?"

She nodded and with that, he and the young redheaded Potter stood and left the room.

 _ **[August 21, 1987]**_

"Really? A television? In our room?" Harry and Xander couldn't believe what they were even confirming, let alone the answer they received from their very annoyed aunt Petunia.

"Yes, but only because Mrs. Buchanan down the street couldn't sell it in her last week's garage sell and Dudders didn't want it." She said and though if looks could kill, they'd surely be dead yesterday, they couldn't help but feel ecstatic. Neither of them had never really ever had their very own anything and now that they were getting something, they couldn't help but want to dance around. Even the smaller redhead, who was still silent was shifting from one foot to the other in excitement.

After yesterday's privet conversation with Aunt Petunia, Mr. John had left with a wink and a goodbye and Xander had been left wondering what was going to happen as a result of the adults talk but never did he expect that he'd end up with a television.

"Where is it?" Harry asked and after his aunt rolled her eyes, she walked them to the cupboard under the stairs where she opened it and showed them the small ten by twelve inch black, dusty, boxed television. It was very small but despite this, Harry moved to grab it.

"There's an antenna behind it." Their aunt told them but was obviously barely heard as the two boys now worked together to move their very own television upstairs.

"Oh, and Harry?" The green eyed Potter now turned his head to look at his aunt, who was turning to go into the kitchen. "Be good for your aunt Marge this week because if any..." She glanced at the redhead beside him. "Strange things happen, I will have Vernon smash that bloody thing, am I clear?"

At his nod, the woman walked into the kitchen and the two boys carried their very own television upstairs into their room. "I can't believe we actually get this." Xander nodded as they set it on the floor, plugged it in and began hooking up the antenna. When they were finished, Xander pressed the power button and after a couple of seconds of nothing, the old thing sputtered to life on channel one which was nothing but static. "Let's see what we can watch."

Nodding in agreement, the younger Potter began going through the channels until they knew all the channels they had which was only seven, black and white in total but to them this was still better then nothing and still looking as though he could burst with excitement, Harry was just opening his mouth to voice how nothing could ruin his mood when he heard Petunia open the door downstairs and just like that, his mood went from ecstatic to depressed in no time. "Aunt Marge is here. "

* * *

"...Oh Vernon! How wonderful of you to take in another of your wife's nephews." Aunt Marge was saying later that day as they all sat around the table and ate and Taz lay under their feet. The two Potters were eating quicker then any of the others who were eating as they did not either want their food taken or for anyone to make it to where they couldn't finish.

®Yes, well of course, we are doing this out of the kindness in our hearts." Vernon replied with arrogance and Xander shook his head, but smiled as he heard his older brother mutter something about bulls and what comes out of them after a good meal.

"So boy." The younger boy's smile faded as Aunt Marge's eyes turned to look coldly at him. "What makes you think you deserve to be here " Harry cringed at this as he remembered when he'd been asked the same question when he was just four years old. Xander seeming to have not heard her, though he was frowning so obviously he had, continued eating as if the large woman staring at him hadn't just spoken to him. "Is he deaf Petunia?" She now turned to look at her sister-in-law who shook her head.

"No, he is mute though."

"Mute? Like he can't talk?"

"Yes."

"Is he retarded?"

Petunia's eyes went wide as she shook her head. "No Marge, he's just troubled so his adopted parents never let him speak so he simply still doesn't." Petunia said softly and the other woman nodded.

"Good, lord knows children like him..." She pointed at Harry. "Don't deserve to talk without permission so if he's anything like his ruddy brother then thank goodness he has learned his place." She said, then as an afterthought, "Where'd you say he came from Vernon?"

"His adopted parents passed away." Began Vernon, "The bloody pair of them died and so now we're stuck with him " he finished and as their conversation continued on the subject of the boy's family and his past, the redhead was growing angrier by the second, for the pair of them had begun a list of why everything that they knew had happened to him was all his or his mother's fault.

"Alcoholics I expect?" Marge was saying and Vernon nodded.

"Awful pair, the mother was a drunk Wh-" he looked at Dudley, "She was a scarlet woman, they left the stove on... Large fire, nearly killed their boy so now of course, he's here."

Marge nodded and was just about to say something more when suddenly, Xander stood, rattling the table and knocking back his chair, his face red and his eyes flashing. He may have had and may still have resentment for what used to happen in that house with his parents only less then three moths ago but it didn't mean that these people, family or not had any right..! "What are you doing child?" Vernon demanded but was completely ignored as the young red headed boy stood rooted to where he was, staring at the table, trying to calm himself before he had an attack.

"Xander, go upstairs." He finally heard his aunt say softly after a few moments of silence and nodding, his jaw clenched, and hazel eyes still flashing, he turned and went out of the dining room, up the stairs and into his room where first, he threw himself onto his bed and buried his face into his pillows as tears filled his eyes. Then after a few moments of angry crying, the young boy moved to sit up and then remembered the television and deciding that perhaps while he had the chance he should look and see what's on, he slid off the bed and made his way to the small black box.

Despite him knowing that the television was both his and his brother's, Xander knew that one of the reasons that they'd gotten this thing was because of his conversation with Mr. John the previous day. After turning the television on and flipping through what was on, channel seven was the one he decided to go watch in the end as it seemed to be the only channel that was playing anything interesting.

The show that was currently running was one for kids called The Great Goobsterz. It looked to be a rather low budget show that had the quality of hone videos, and the idea behind it seemed to be that seven kids often got into mischief and had to be led back on the right path by their mentor. Each thirty minute episode was two-fifteen-minute like episodes where one fifteen minute episode seemed to be about seven boys and the other about seven girls and though he liked the show at first, Xander grew bored of the show by the time it got to the girls because all they did was get into boring mischief like forgetting to clean the bathroom tiles or something.

He sighed and was just standing after turning off the television when the door opened and Harry walked in looking real tired. "I hate aunt Marge."

Xander smiled, "Me too." The redhead said and as he did, Harry's eyes went wide and he smiled.

"So you're speaking now?"

Xander shrugged, "N- not t- to any- not to anyone b- but you. " He said and Harry's smile grew.

"Thanks Xan."

Xander matched his smile. "Tha- that's what bro- brothers a- are f- for. "

 _ **[August 27, 1987]**_

"So, it's off to the airport at half past noon tomorrow, correct?"

Marge Dursley nodded at her brother as she sipped her wine and Petunia set supper on the table. For the rest of the week after that first day, Xander had been for the most part successful in avoiding his larger aunt with the exception of her purposefully ending up in the same room with him so that she could criticise him and tonight was no different, he had no choice but to sit in the same room with her and eat as she'd requested everyone be together but the young boy knew she didn't care about him or his brother but only wanted to hurt their self esteem just a bit more before she left.

Despite this though, he was glad that he'd not broken his word that Harry would be the only one he'd talk to as he was even still silent in his sessions with Mr. John and despite this, he was even still unsure if he should continue verbal communication with his brother because of a conversation they'd had just earlier that day about Xander's favorite television show The Great Goobsterz.

"It's an odd show." He'd began trying to be kind, "It's simply just very strange."

"Yo- you're v- very st- strange."

Harry had smiled at his comment but it didn't change how he felt, to him that show was simply not a very great show as the title suggests, and because of this, the young redhead couldn't help but feel downtrodden, the one thing Xander actually liked, his brother just had to hate.

Now he sat at the table, next to his brother as the adults moved to a conversation of Vernon's work and Petunia's daily activities. No one even seemed to noticed the pair of Potters until Xander made the mistake of reaching over the table to grab something. His fingers had grasped what he needed when Dudley from underneath the table elbowed him, causing his arm to jerk and for his glass of water to fly off the table and not only spill all over himself and the floor but to shatter with a crash.

The room went completely silent now as every pair of eyes turned to stare at the small hazel eyed redhead who now stood, his chair pushed out, shocked and covered in water. "Look what you've done you ruddy little ginger." Came Marge's voice.

"I- I- I'm..." Came the small voice of the younger Potter. He didn't want to speak but he was so scared in that moment, he could feel his hear pounding in his ears.

"See Petunia, like I was saying the other day, you shouldn't be expected to handle two of them..."

"I-"

"What the blazes are you waiting for boy?" Vernon suddenly snapped angrily. "Clean up what you've done!" Xander nodded and was just moving to clean up the ness when suddenly he slipped and fell hard, hitting his head on the table and his left elbow on his chair as he went and landing with a loud thud on his good hand and knees on the floor.

"Xander!" It was Harry who'd called out to him as he and their aunt Petunia rushed over to see if he was alright.

The hazel eyed boy shook his head and moved away from them, now more scared of what might happen to him next and as he moved quickly, his aunt grabbed him and at this, he was obviously triggered as past images flooded his mind and he began to thrash, now having an utter fit. "PL- PLEASE L- L- LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET KE GO! PLEASE!" Tears were falling down his cheeks and his face was dark red with anger and extreme fear as he kicked and punched his aunt.

"Xander! Calm down!" The thin woman tried but to no avail, her nephew was crying so loudly and thrashing so violently it seemed that none of them would be able to calm him. "Why is he acting like this!" She looked frantically around at everyone.

"Let me get him." Vernon finally snapped and getting up, He was just walking over to his frantic wife and the two Potters when Xander suddenly saw him walking over and yelling for the man to stay away from him, he got quickly to his feet and rushed from the room and up the stairs where he went into the dark closet and began to trying and calm down.

* * *

"Yes... Okay... Thank you, I need- Yes. look, I can't do this anymore without knowing... I know, but I NEED to know. Alright, ten minutes, I'll be wairing, thank you, bye." Petunia sighed heavily as she dropped the receiver of the phone.

After the incident at supper, everyone had decided to leave Xander alone, even Harry who had been permitted to take an old sleeping bag back into the cupboard under the stairs had not wanted to be around the redhead for awhile so the smaller boy would have time to collect himself.

It was nearly midnight when Petunia decided to get out of bed and go check on her younger nephew who she found fast asleep in the closet of his and his brother's room. Then after putting him in his bed and pulling the blankets over him, his aunt had immediately gone downstairs to call the only person she was sure could help, she called Mr. John.

She hadn't cared if he was asleep or whatever, but was relieved all the same to find that he'd been awake and after talking with him, he was going to come over and help her understand.

Because no longer could she handle her youngest nephew without knowing exactly why he was the way he was. No longer could she go without knowing what happened and so tonight she was going to hopefully understand everything so she could better deal with the small redheaded, hazel eyed Potter.


	8. One Step Closer

**A/N: Hello everyone! I am glad to present the next chappie! Please remember to favorite, follow and review if you like and..**

 **PLEASE ENJOY!**

 **Fun Fact: Xander's Zodiac is Aries, he was born the year of the rooster and his Druid tree is the Jasmine Tree:)**

* * *

 _ **[January 5, 1987]**_

"Pl- plea- please! Do- don't ma- make me eat a- any m- m- more! I- I- I- I'm- I'm sor- sorry."

Vecton smirked and ran his fingers through his son's dark, greasy, matted red hair. "But John? I thought you were oh so hungry." The man's fingers tightened into a fist, his son's hair now tight in his hand. "Isn't that why you were at the neighbors? Because I starve you?" He was no longer smirking as the anger of what his son had done came forth for the millionth time since he'd found out and without giving the small boy a chance to brace himself, Vecton pulled his hair, roughly back, forcing the boy's head to move sharply and within seconds, the boy was let go and thrown from the chair he'd been in after his father's elbow had collided with his noes.

"YOU ACT LIKE I STARVE YOU? FINE, I WILL FEED YOU AND YOU WILL EAT WHAT I DAMN GIVE YOU!" The chair now between them was lifted and slammed on top of the small whimpering figure on the floor who nodded with blood now streaming from several new and reopened wounds.

A moment of silence passed between them now as John simply lay whimpering and Vecton stood breathing heavily.

"Get up."

John didn't need telling twice, despite all his aches and pains, the young red head was on his feet in seconds as his father walked over and pulled two more bowls of his "Special recipe" out of the refrigerator..

"You're going to eat what I give you and you're going to like it." The man said in a low voice as he set the the bowls in front of his son who gulped but nodded all the same.

If these meals were anything like the other four he'd been made to eat, he was going to be even sicker then he already was within the hour.

 _ **[August 28, 1987]**_

"...and you're absolutely sure that you're prepared to see what you're about to see?" It was the third time the man had asked that since he'd been at the house but again, Petunia nodded.

"Yes, I know very well that you're going to have to use..." She stopped for a moment and calmed the sick feeling that had begun to fill her stomach. "I know you're going to have to use your... " she coughed, "Special talents to show me completely what I need to know and I know what I see won't be pleasant but this is the only way that I can truly see. Taking in Harry had been easy, he was only one and had come straight from his parents, but Xander, he's different, I feel as though I have to tiptoe when I'm around him and I don't want things to be that way." She finished and this time Mr John nodded.

He'd come over nearly ten minutes ago now with a bag that he'd showed her the contents of as he explained what they were going to do and despite her telling herself and him that she was ready, Petunia Dursley was very nervous. Maybe if- No, she had to know, she just had to do this.

She took in a deep shuttering breath as Mr. John now picked up the thing he had earlier explained to her was a pensive. "We should get this over with." He whispered and with a trembling nod, she followed him up the stairs and into the room where the sleeping Potter currently lay.

When they were both inside and the door was shut softly behind them, they both turned to look at the small boy in his bed and in unison, they sighed deeply, for at the moment, young Xander seemed to be having one of his usual nightmares. He was sweating something awful as he kicked, punched, rolled around and muttered in his sleep.

"I can't help but wonder what he dreams-" She cut herself off and looked at Mr. John, she would know very soon just exactly where her small nephew went when he was deep inside his dreams.

* * *

What seemed like hours later, the two sat slumped over on the other bed while the red head in his own slept now soundly and with a peaceful look upon his young features. They had done it, they had put a sleeping spell on the child to keep him from waking up, had extracted his memories, which instead of a silvery stream had come out a thick, steel gray and then they'd watched transfixed as the memories of the small boy unfolded around them.

"I-" Petunia sat straight now, wanting to say something but knew she couldn't. What words could she possibly string together to explain the emotions that were running through her in that moment? How would they matter? It's not as if anything she felt or said could change what she saw or what had happened to her young nephew.

She took a shaking breath as she fought the tears that threatened. How could anybody- suddenly she thought of Harry and how she and her husband had been treating him for his whole life and now she couldn't fight the sadness and now the guilt. Yes, she hated and still hates what Lily was and what her children most likely are but no child should have to go through what either- No, what Xander has gone through because in her opinion, life for Harry was nowhere near as bad as it had been for his brother.

Petunia dried her tears and pushed away the guilt as the brown haired man beside her set a hand on her shoulder. Unlike Xander, his older brother had been blessed to have been placed with his relatives as he was not beaten on a daily basis, had a place inside to sleep, was given enough food so that he could live and perform his chores accurately and was allowed clothes so that he could go to school and get an education. Yes. Petunia nodded to herself as her guilt began to fade away. Harry was in no means treated perfect but he was treated better then he could've been and to her that's all that counts.

She looked then at Mr. John who after removing his hand from her shoulder was getting to his feet, a troubled look on his face that he'd seemed to have ever since they'd gotten out of that pinsef of whatever it was. He glanced at Xander before holding a hand out to her. "It's getting late, you should get some sleep." He whispered and though she nodded, Petunia knew she wouldn't be able to sleep out of fear of what she might dream about.

* * *

"I- I'm ju- just not hu- hu- hungry."

After the events of the previous night and early hours of the morning, Petunia had tried to lay down and get some sort of sleep but to no avail, she simply ended up laying awake, next to her husband until around five in the morning when not being able to handle her feelings any more, she went into the room where Xander had been sleeping to check on him, only to find the young Potter already half awake and covered in sweat and mucus, obviously having had another nightmare after her and Mr. John had left and so after waking him completely, she got him to shower, then took him down the stairs and made him a small snack as he hadn't had the chance to eat before going to sleep but despite not getting to eat, he was refusing her snack as if she'd already given him far too much.

"You need to eat."

He shook his head and looked down.

"But you didn't eat your supper."

"I- I'm f- fine."

"John Alexander."

He cringed at his full name, as if she'd taken a hot iron to his face and finally, most likely out of fear that his aunt might strike him, the young redhead began to eat. As the blonde woman watched him slowly lift the spoon with each bite, then quicken his pace as he realized how hungry he actually was, she gave a small smile. Hopefully this was the beginning of something better.

Now that she mostly understood what young Xander had gone through,, it made her easier to sympathize with him and that's really all she feels that she needs...

For now.

 _ **[August 30, 1987]**_

"B- but I- I sti- still don- don't feel g- good."

"I know you're fine Xander and you're going to school tomorrow."

"But-"

"No ifs, ands or buts."

"But-"

"What did I just say?"

Xander sighed in defeat and stomped one of his feet in anger, it was true that he'd been feigning sickness for the past couple of days in the hope that he wouldn't have to go to school, but honestly, who in his position wouldn't.

Before his sunr Marge had left, she'd made sure to tell her nephews how rotten she thought they were and then, she'd spit at Xsnder which made him feel awful and Harry angry so after that, the two boys had stayed together and the younger Potter had become so scared of people at school hating him that he'd decided he did not want to go after all, the only problem was that now as he followed his aunt around the kitchen and attempted to plead with her, she simply wasn't having any of it and told him point blank that he was going to school no matter what.

"Wh- what if-"

"No, you're going."

"Please don't make me go!" He was practically on his knees now, begging at her feet but she knew this wasn't one of his usual fits, she by now was beginning to tell the difference and this here was more of a tantrum then anything else and she would not give in. "Please!"

"Xander... " The small boy's aunt now turned to him as the door opened and Harry walked in covered from head to toe in ash and soot from having just finished cleaning the chimney

"I'm all done Aunt Petunia." The green eyed boy said with a sneeze as both her and the other Potter looked at him.

"Very well, go take a shower and then, come back down here for dinner... Now get! Get out of my kitchen or you'll be cleaning my floors!" She said and with a nod, the boy turned and hurried out as Xander watched him then crossed his arms as an idea came to him.

As much as he didn't want to go to school, he also hated how Harry and he were made to do nearly all the chores so finally taking a deep breath as the door closed behind his brother, Xander cleared his small throat and spoke as carefully as he could. "I..." He sighed again as the blonde woman now looked back at him with slight annoyance in her eyes. "I won't- If you..." He trailed and fell into silence as he struggled with what he wanted to say, hoping he wouldn't get into trouble. "I will no longer com- complain about going- about going to school, if- if you give Harry a week off of chores "

His aunt's look of annoyance snapped to one of utter shock in only a second before a glare replaced that look. "What gives you the right-"

"Pl- please, I'll t- take all h- h- his chores, pl- please." The boy begged and his aunt was just about to open her mouth to refuse him when she looked into his eyes and closed her mouth. When he'd been begging about not going to school, he'd had a pleading look in his eyes but the look he had now was so much more, full of a sparking love for his brother as he preferred to help him then hide from the worlds cruelest people. suddenly the blonde Dursley was reminded of herself and her sister at that age and she sighed.

"Very well, you'll take his chores for the next week now go get ready for supper or you won't eat." She said and with an energetic nod, the small redhead turned and ran off to his and his brother's room with a silent cheer of triumph.

 _ **[August 31, 1987]**_

Anyone who had ever before said that entering school was easy was in Xander's opinion an utter liar.

After having had a very interesting morning, he was now in the car squashed between Dudley, his large backpack and Harry who was looking as though his entire world had crumbled around him, as they rode though the streets toward their primary school. Earlier that mornng, the older Potter had after getting dressed in his cheap new clothes, had opened his bag to find that Dudley had poured an entire bottle of glue in it and when he tried to tell one of the adults, Vernon rolled his eyes and claimed that he was careless and had spilt the glue himself and was blaming their precious Dudders so he wouldn't get into trouble and Petunia simply crossed her arms and stayed tight-lipped as she listened. "It's far to late to get you another one and all new things." She finally said when he'd finished and with that, the green eyed Potter knew that the conversation was over.

After that, the Dursley's sat down to eat, while the two Potters skipped the meal, so they could attempt to salvage the mess of Harry's bag. They were able to at first save a few pencils and a notebook and then worked for fifteen minutes, trying to scrub the bag but after they'd gotten all messy themselves and achieved nothing, Harry gave up and stood to get cleaned up with a downtrodden look on his eyes. For the first time he'd had something to take with him on the first day but now once again, he had nothing. "Yo- you c- can h- ha- have mine." Xander had offered but Harry declined.

"No, it's alright." He'd said, "I'm used to having nothing."

* * *

When they arrived at the school, Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon first took Dudley and Harry to their class as they would be having their morning lessons together this year, then as Vernon grumbled that he'd go wait in the car, his wife nodded, as she set a hand on Xander's shoulder and led him to the first year hallway where his class with Mr. Fauscett was located.

"Good morning." The young redhead stopped a moment after his aunt and looked up to see a tall young man with dark brown hair and blue eyes looking down at him with a smile and a hand held out.

"Yo- you must b- be M- Mr. Fa- Mr. Fauscett." Xander shyly took the man's hand as the man nodded in confirmation, then turned to the women beside his newest student.

"You're his aunt Petunia correct?" He began and at her nod, they went on to speak quietly about Xander and how his year might go and what the man should watch for when it came to Xsnder's attitude because of what he's been through and how he reacts to certain things.

As he listened to them talk in their whispered tones and tried to understand what they meant by whatever they were saying, the small Potter soon grew bored and so deciding he wanted to go and find a seat, he walked away quietly and entered the classroom which as he did, caused him to suddenly feel very lightheaded for to him the room was very noisy as so many children around his age, laughed and ran and said goodbyes to their parents.

"You'll be at the Green Turtle Table " came a voice from behind him and Xander jumped. His aunt must've left without saying goodbye and now here he was... Left all alone in this new place with all of these new people. He began to breath quickly as sweat broke out all over him and he backed away.

"I-"

"It's alright, you should sit down." The man smiled and nodding quickly and quietly, he turned and practically ran to the green table with a picture of a cartoon turtle on it and sat down with five other children, two boys and three girls who were all excitedly talking amongst each other.

"Yes, my stepdaddy is the principal." One boy with crazy black hair and dark brown eyes was saying before he stopped when he noticed Xander sit down. "Hello! What's your name?"

At this boy's words, the other four at the table stopped their conversations to look at the small hazel eyed boy, who suddenly becoming very nervous, set his head in his arms and said nothing. "Haha! He's scared of your ugly face!" Came another boy's voice and the first boy made a noise of denial.

"No! He's just shy! My mummy said that shy people are scared to speak up, like Aria! Right Aria, he's just shy like you?" He must've turned to address another kid for after his question, there was a small whisper as someone, most likely the girl Aria, confirmed what he'd said. "See! I'm not ugly, he's just shy!"

"Or... Aria thinks your ugly too but doesn't wanna hurt your feelings." The other boy spoke and that's when Xander looked up and glared at the mean boy who'd just spoken. He was small and pale with mouse-brown hair, stormy gray eyes and a yellow toothed smirk.

"I- I do- don't think h- he is ug- ugly." Xander began and was just attempting to work up the courage to add that he thought the mean boy was instead ugly when he closed his mouth at the sound of the classroom door closing and Mr. Fauscett clearing his throat.

"Good morning everyone!" Began their teacher excitedly as the black haired boy smiled, glad that Xander had confirmed that he indeed didn't think he was ugly.

With everyone else's reply of "Good morning!" Class officially began and as it went, Xander found that though he'd rather have been at home, it really wasn't as bad as it could've been. He learned during roll call that the black haired boy was named Jupiter and the mean boy was Phaux, he learned that Aria, who was a very pretty, dark-sparkling-green eyed girl with long hair that seemed to shine with all sorts of colors sat right between him and Jupiter and that the other two girls at their table who turned out to be friends with Phaux were called Nancy and Marianna.

After roll call, they were each asked to stand and say something unique about themselves in which case, when it was Xander's turn, after Jupiter declared that he could already ride a bicycle without training wheels, Nancy told of how she could do any job she wanted and Aria shyly sang in a lovely voice her favorite nursery rhyme, he wouldn't move from his seat and put his head down until Mr. Fauscett gave up and moved on to the next kid who bragged about being able to say the whole alphabet backwards, then proceeded to demonstrate.

Then they were each given a coloring sheet and Xander smiled when he saw that he'd received one with a motorcycle on it (Harry had once told him about a dream he'd had about a flying motorcycle) and colored his in silence until it was reading time, where Mr. Fauscett after explaining what they would be doing as far as reading went for the year, began to read them an amazing book about a wonderful place called Narnia. Then after he finished the chapter they would read that day they all sat in a circle and after discussing what they'd just heard, counted to one hundred in different ways until lunchtime, where Xander was invited to sit with Jupiter but declined to sit by himself.

After lunch, it was nap time, then it was time for recess where Xander hid with a piece of chalk and drew little pictures until it was time to go inside, then after talking about different tasks they would have in the classroom, they talked about things they themselves did around their house and what they liked to do for fun until it was snack time and then the bell rang meaning that finally at last it was time to go home.

"Mummy! Mummy! Mummy!" Xander had just been finishing his snack when Jupiter grabbed him by the arm and dragged him toward a women who he, after calming himself as he'd almost had an attack at being suddenly grabbed assumed was the black haired boy's mother. "This is my new friend mummy! His name is John Potter but he likes to go by Xander cause his middle name is Alexander, it's just like how I like to go by Jupe or Piter and just like how Aria goes by Ari or Ria and he's also shy just like Aria and he's older then me and Aria mummy! He's six years old! Can you believe it? And he's my friend and it's awesome mummy it is!" The boy began without so much as a breath and as he continued on about other things, the red haired Potter next to him's eyes opened wide for a moment at how much this boy could get out in such a small span of time, then shaking his head, he couldn't help but give a small smile and wave at the women in front of them, then gestured toward his things, letting her know that he needed to to pack up to go home.

"Jupe?"

"And the book was awesome though we only read chapter one and I got your note in my lunch and-"

"Jupe darling?"

"Then we-"

"Jupiter!"

The black haired boy stopped and first looking up at his mother, he then turned to Xander. "Sorry, I just get so excited sometimes and..." He trailed off, looking a bit embarrassed but smiled when he saw that the other boy had found that he could in fact smile all the way in this moment.

"I- it is o- ok- okay."

"Xander?" The red head suddenly turned at the sound of his name and nodded when he saw his aunt walking toward him, Dudley and Harry right behind her.

"Mrs. Dursley..." Came Mr. Fauscett and Xander turned for a moment back to Jupiter's mother who quickly introduced herself as Mrs. Khosmik as he held out his hand like he'd once seen his father do to business associates that he respected.

"Tha- thank y- you."

"Oh, for what may I ask?" She asked and the red head's eyebrows furrowed, he'd not thought why he was thanking her until she asked and he shrugged.

"J- Ju- Jupe i- is a g- go- good fr- fri- friend." He finally told her after a second of thought and the smile she'd had before grew as Xander was called once more by his aunt and the time for him to leave had finally arrived.

"Well, it was nice meeting you Xander."

"Yes and I can't wait to see you tomorrow!"

The small Potter nodded as he walked to his backpack and made sure he had everything, then waving to Jupiter and his mother, Xander hurried after his aunt and found his place right next to his brother as they walked.

"So, I see you had a good day." Harry whispered as they walked to the car and Dudley told his mother all about his first day of year three.

"I- it w- wa- was o- o- okay." The redheaded Potter replied after thinking for a moment of how his day had truly gone. "Ho- how d- did y yo- your da- day go?"

"Well, Dudley's friend Piers Polkiss stomped on my foot but besides that, it was pretty boring."

"I- I b- bet Du- Dudley's he- head h- hurts fr- from me- merely the i- idea of h- having to th- think." Xander whispered and with that and a quiet laugh from the two Potters, they all joined uncle Vernon in the car and made their way back to number four, Xander thinking the whole way that hopefully he wasn't dreaming and of how for once in his young life, he had a friend who was not his brother or imaginary.


	9. Magically Wondering

**A/N: Hey guys! I hope you like it!**

 _ **Fun Fact:**_ **Xander is left handed! Bet he'll have fun writing in ink at Hogwarts!**

* * *

 _ **[April 9, 1984]**_

"You like that song don't you John?" It was Audrey who'd turned and spoken, breaking the moment of silence which had followed the beautiful sound which she'd created with every stroke of her finger on a piano key. The very small redhead gave a clap and a cheer as he looked up at her through his long hair which covered his face and sparkling eyes. "You really need a hairtrim." She added with a laugh as the small boy before her ran over, his arms open for a hug. He knew very well he needed a good trimming but that would come in May, just before he would turn three.

"Piano is pretty." He said as she pulled the hazel eyed child into her arms and nodded.

"Yes, piano is very pretty." She looked down and moved the hair out of his face and looked into the small boys bright sparkling hazel eyes as he then gave a loud yawn the large oak doors to the music room opened and one of the very few teachers of the orphanage walked in with a smile.

"Very good Audrey, I heard you playing down the hall and I can tell you've been practicing." The woman said and the barely eight year old girl before her nodded.

"Every single day ma'am!"

"And I see little John has been enjoying your talent."

The young redhead looked up at her with a smile and another yawn "very pretty." He said and the teacher laughed.

"Looks like someone needs a nap."

"Sleepy."

"Alright, here Audrey, let me-"

"No, I'll take him."

"Are you sure?"

The young girl nodded. "I'll get Chu on the way." She said as she stood and with a nod the older female let her pass before following her from the room.

 _ **[May 10, 1984]**_

"So, you like piano do you?"

The small boy looked up at Miriam- his new mum, who was seated on the beautiful dark colored couch in the living room, an ecstatic expression on his small face as he practically danced around her. "Oh yes! Dee used to play a lot!"

"Dee?"

"Audrey, she was mine and Chu's friend!"

Miriam smiled with a nod, "Alright then, so how would you like to go see a musical for mother's day? There will be piano and loads of other instruments."

The hazel eyed boy's sparkling orbs grew wide at this and he nodded. "That would be excellent!"

"Excellent? Now isn't that a big word?" his new mother smiled and grinning, John nodded and stopped his dancing long enough to stand with his chest held out with pride.

"Dee taught me all kinds of big words, even though I didn't talk much because I was scared that I would use all the big words wrong."

"Well, it looks like you're doing a good job to me."

The redhead gave a cheer and with a laugh, jumped onto the couch where his mother pulled him into her arms with a-a soft laugh of her own.

 _ **[October 7, 1987]**_

"I bet you can't wait to go to school where nobody likes you."

Xander rolled his eyes at his cousin as he once again sat squashed in the middle of his brother and cousin as they made their way to school.

Over the last few weeks he and Jupiter had actually gotten to know each other very well, and had slowly but surely become good ftiends. With him being the quiet, levelheaded one and the black haired boy being the talkative, mischievous one, yet with both of them having very similar interests and ideas, they paralleled enough to be able to agree yet always seemed to be doing something the other would never want to do. Xander enjoyed his quiet coloring and Jupiter loved to jump around and play tricks and because of this, their friendship was in their opinion, rather perfect. Though, apparently Dudley hadn't noticed as he was always trying to find new and creative ways to hurt the younger Potter, whether it be memtally or physically. Infact, the small redhead was quite positive that the whole planning process for his large cousin must be very difficult as in his opinion thinking about anything past a three year old's level was a very new concepy to the large Dursley.

"J- just le- le- leave me alone." Was all he decided to respond after a moment and his cousin snickered.

"Awww, What's wrong? Can't handle the truth."

"No, he's trying to process how it's possible to be as daft as you without having his head implode." Harry whispered so only the other two in the back seats could hear and then flinched, awaiting for either his cousin to tattle on or hit him but to his surprise, he did neither.

"You're just mad because you know it's true. John Alexander Potter is liked by no one, not even either of the parents he's had liked him very much."

At this, the green eyed Potter's eyes went wide as Xander, who had previously been staring into his lap, looked up and turned to stare with an emotionless expression at his cousin. Oh if only he had the guts to speak his own mind...

""What? Stop staring at me freak."

"We're here!" Aunt Petunia suddenly declared and without thinking or even waiting for the car to come to s complete stop, the small redhead turned quickly, took off his seat belt and stumbled out of the car, his backpack slung over one shoulder.

How had that pig known anything about anything about his past? Was the only thought that occupied the small Potter's thoughts as he ram to his classroom and sat down heavily in his chair. Maybe Uncle Vernon had told him... Yes! He decided as Jupiter entered the classroom and hurried over to him. That buttface Uncle Vernon had told Dudley about how no one loved John Alexander Potter because he wanted his son to have as much leverage as possible over his youngest cousin.

"Xan! Xan! Xan!"

Xander couldn't help but smile and as he responded with his now usual response of, "Yes..Yes. Yes." And Jupiter began telling him in his usual ecastic voice all about his new pet fish, the young redhead began to feel the anger his cousin had caused him begin to fade. How in the world could he be so angry when the only boy besides his brother who had decided to be his friend was talking about how his fish was secretly a magic shark who could eat whole continents if it wanted to.

"Jup? Do you know how insane that sounds?"

The dark haired boy... His friend laughed as their teacher entered the room and class began.

Xander's mood only aeemed to lighten further through the morning as after their first morning lesson, they went as a class to the music room where the director, a tall, kind lady named Ms. Pan taught them all more about how musicians use notes and symbols to play and sing the lovely music that everyone enjoys so much. "I love music." Jupiter whispered as Ms. Pan then went around and handed out forms that needed to be signed so the kids could over the course of the year build a model of an instrument of their own that one day they'd like to learn to play.

"I do too " The redheaded Potter agreed with his friend but as he was handed his form, his smile faded and he bit his lip. Would Aunt Petunia sign his form? Harry did tell him that once in order to get his own forms signed, he'd had to clean under one of their neighbour's house and then give the money he earned to Dudley... The redhead looked at Jupiter who'd by this point switched topics to a play his mother and father had once taken him and his brother to and how much fun it had been and though he was trying to listen to his friend, Xander couldn't help but tune him out. Maybe he could clean under someone's house, he had after all once been made by his father to sleep under their home for three days before with nothing to drink but rain water so why wouldn't he be able to clean under one? With that, he nodded. Yes that's exactly what he would do!

"And then there was the time my mummy took me to the fair!"

"Alright class, settle down " suddenly came Ms. Pan's voice when she'd handed out the last form. "I hope you all are allowed to participate and have fun and, thank you for coming, now please have a nice day and make good decisions." She finished and no sooner were the words out of her mouth then the bell rang and Mr. Fauscett entered to take them all back to class.

It seemed to Xander that after arriving back in the room, they were only there for mere minutes before they were up and off again, this time heading for the playground for rescess. Once again, like he did everyday, Jupiter invited his redheaded friend to come and play with him but nearly immediately, the smaller boy declined because in his opinion, Jupiter and the other boys played too rough for his liking and so with that, like he did everyday, the young Potter made his way to where no one was playing and started to draw with some chalk.

In his picture, the small hazel eyed Potter drew first a man that looked like Mr. John, except in his creation, he gave the older male a cape and then he drew himself, small and bruised but here on this didewalk, he was able to put a smile on his face, a smile that was teary and greatful, a smile that clearly told of how he had finally begun to live an actual life as a child who is loved. He was just about to start putting away his chalk when suddenly he heard a familiar voice cry out in fear and without thinking the redhead was on his feet in a flash.

"Harry!?"

What was his brorher doing outside and where was he at?

"Leave me alone you madchild!"

Xander's head snapped to look at where he heard his green eyed brother and that's when he saw him running as fast as he could, followed by Dudley, Piers and a couple other boys across the blacktop and toward the rubbish bins just outside one of the school exits and he glared.

"No! You called me daft this morning and so now we're going to show you who's daft!"

"Leave me alone!"

"Yeah! Leave him alone!" The large Dursley and his friends stopped and glared at Xander who'd at this point begun making his way quickly toward his brother to help if he needed to, however, he froze suddenly when Dudley told the other two boys that weren't Piers to get him and they actually came after him and were on the unprepared Potter in seconds.

"Get away from me!" Xander shrieked as the first boy made to grab him and he had to duck and run quickly under the small space under the slide to hide, hitting his temple sharply on the green frame as he did. The two boys stopped when they tried to follow him but couldn't fit under like the smaller redhead.

"Stop hiding and get out!" One boy said and Xander shook his throbbing head as he used his hand to gingerly touch where the pain was the worst and came back with bloody fingers.

"Leave me alone!" He hollered in a high voice, echoing the previous words of his brother, who he was now worried about because he couldn't see him any longer. This feeling was even such that it caused him to slightly forget about his own pain as he thought about what kind of pain the green eyed boy nust be in right at that moment.

"Jerga! Monseraut!"

Oh thank the lord! The redhead thought as Mr. Fauscett ran over, Jupiter and Aria trailing behind him. They must've seen what was going on and went to get help in the form of their teacher.

"We were just playing around with him." The other boy who'd stayed mostly silent while chasing him was saying in what the small Potter would claim later to be an extremely posh accent as the older male sternly handed them each a slip of paper and sent them to the front office.

"Well, you can explain that to Mrs. Flinn when you see her now go, off with the pair of you."

At the sound and forcefulness of his tone, the two boys turned and stormed off as Jupiter hurried over and held out a hand to the now shaking redhead under the slide. "Are you- oh my stars! Mr. Fauscett, he's bleeding all over his face!"

"What!?" The man said as the dark haired boy then backed away and Aria began to cry at the sight of so much blood.

"No, it's just where I hit my head." The Potter under the slide tried to say but because he was now shaking from what he'd just gone through and had been triggered by the pain and blood, his words in reality came out all garbled and blended together so that all the others heard was a quiet, "Nuisuswehimmed."

"Get the nurse." Xander distantly heard his teacher say before finally succumbing to the shock of everything and the great pain in his head, he fainted, falling with no grace as he did.

* * *

When he awoke what felt like seconds later, the small boy blinked blurrily at a very familiar brightly lit ceiling as a voice from beside him cut through his haze. "John?" He turned toward the sound of the voice and blinked a few times more and turned his head away once he realized he didn't recognize the person.

"Where's m- my fa- family?" He whispered in a horse tone and before he received an answer, a straw was held to his mouth and without thinking, he drank hungrily at the cold, orange flavored liquid.

"They're on their way."

The small redhead nodded, and after sipping the last of the drink, he removed his mouth from the straw and wiped at his mouth "H- how long w- was I- I o- out?"

"Only about half an hour." The man said and the small Potter nodded, then remembering why he'd hit his head and fainted he nearly sat up.

"Where's Harry?!"

"Your brother?"

"Yes!"

The man nodded, "I believe he's on his way with your relatives, If I'm correct, they went by and got him from school. That's why they're not here yet." He explained and the boy in the bed nodded.

"H- how b- bad w- was i- it?"

"Your injury?" The boy in the bed nodded and with that, the man smiled. "Not terribly bad but you did need about 3 stitches and a shot because it was a nail you'd actually smashed your head on at school."

"A nail?"

The man nodded, "Your school nurse and teacher said the cut was much worse before you got here but it was almost like it magically began to heal on its own." The man gave a smile, "However, I chalk it up to them being so unnerved by all the blood that made them think your cut was so terrible at first considering it is quite impossible for cuts like they said to heal so quickly." The man finished and the redhead was just about to voice how confused he was when suddenly the door opened and a nurse walked in, followed by the Dursleys and Harry who looked so disheartened, the small hazel eyed boy in the bed might as well have died.

"The family is here Mr. McKormik."

"Thank you Sharen."

"I can't believe we're back at the bloody hospital because of this ruddy no good brat and this is where I'll be spending my lunch break." Vernon muttered as the woman left the room and Xander now looked down at his hands.

"Vernon..." Petunia gave an exasperated sigh as Dudley pulled out a new little game he'd gotten and sat down to begin playing with it and the doctor now began to talk with the adults about what had been done for young Xander.

"In sorry you got hurt."

The smaller Potter looked up with a slight start and stared at his brother who was looking at him, with that extremely sad look still on his face. "What happened to you?" He now asked without excepting his brother's apology for in his opinion, his brother shouldn't have to apologize, but knew he couldn't tell his brother not to as the green eyed boy would never listen.

"I got in trouble.. I'll be sleeping in the cupboard under the stairs for awhile."

"Why?!" Xander was suddenly up on both feet, anger suddenly surging through his veins.

"Mr. Potter!" Everyone suddenly turned to look at the redhead who now wobbled on his feet as his vision blurred and pain shot through his head.

"I-"

The doctor hurried over and gently taking the small boy, he helped him back into the bed as Petunia crossed her arms and Vernon muttered about dim nephews. "Don't do that or you could pass out "

"S- sor- so- s- sorry."

Dr. McKormik nodded and offered the small Potter another drink, which the boy took as rhe older male checked the boys blood pressure and such, then resumed his previous conversation with the Dursleys and as he did, Xander looked at Harry. "What happened?"

"The wind blew me up onto the roof of the school and the school called Aunt Petunia and told her I was climbing school buildings."

Xander listened and nodded, then without warning burst into a fit of quiet laughter that left him gasping from a sharp stab of pain he felt in his head. "The wind..? Carried you..? Har- Harry? D- do you r- realize h- how n- nutters th- that sounds?"

The older boy glared at his brother, then after a moment, he smiled. "I know it sounds utterly mad, but there's no other way to explain what happened." The black haired boy whispered and at this the hazel eyed boy raised an eyebrow and looked at him with a look that clearly asked for more details, which the older Potter gave with a sigh.

"So, after Dudley sent his cronies after you," the green eyed boy began in a whisper so as not to be overheard by anybmbidy in the room, "I ran all the way to the rubbish bins because I was going hide behind them but..."

"But what?"

"I suddenly appeared on the school roof."

Xander blinked once, utterly dumbfounded by his brother's story, "What?"

"I suddenly appeared on the school roof... Like magic."

"But magic doesn't-" the small redhead began but suddenly closed his mouth when something he'd never really wanted to think about before occurred to him. Vecton... His stepfather had died because... Because... Well, he'd just kind of exploded... And then there was the incident that stood out in Xander's mind as the reason his stepfather hated him so much... Then the doctors words from not so long ago came to him and he began to shake slightly, he'd said it hadn't been possible for his wound to heal like that like magic, but what if it had? He shook his head violently and looked at his brother and gave a deep sigh. "Magic doesn't really exist, I guess it was the wind then."

Harry nodded as the doctor after checking Xander over again gave the okay and within about ten minutes, they were all in the car and on their way home.

As they drove, the small redhead who now sat on the very right side behind Aunt Petunia couldn't help but try and keep his mind away from his thoughts of magic as he looked tiredly out the window. How can impossible things be... Well possible? This thought and many others seemed to be pushing at every wall inside of him, while he tried to ignore what appeared to be right in front of him. Was it real? If so, how? If not, then how does all these strange things keep happening to Harry and him? He may not know the answer to these questions but one thing he does know for certain is if magic is real and it is how his stepfather died, then in every sense of the term, John Alexander Potter is a murderer, who used magic as his weapon. This would mean that magic is very dangerous and- he glanced at his aunt before returning his gaze to the side window, a sick feeling in his stomach.

She knows!

If magic is real and it is dangerimous enough to have allowed him to murder Vecton then maybe their aunt knows and that's why Harry's grounded.

But Xander, that's nutters! A small voice told him and he looked back at his aunt before putting his head in his hands in defeat. Magic couldn't be real, it just couldn't be...

 _ **[December 18, 1987]**_

"Hey Xander, it's Friday already! Are you excited for tonight?"

The redheaded Potter looked up from his numbers worksheet and nodded. It had been just over two months now since he'd gotten hurt on the playground and though at this point he was all good and well, he really couldn't wait for this day to be over and for Christmas break to start.

"It's going to be fun you know? My brother Nep- that's short for Neptune- My daddy- I told you that he died in his job as a policeman last year after he and my mummy broke up, well he's the one who named us and my brother Nep, he's real cool, I think your brother Harry will like him." The boy went on and Xander nodded once more as he went back to his numbers.

A couple of weeks prier to that Friday, Jupiter's mother had called Aunt Petunua and asked if her younger nephew wanted to come and spend the night with her son and after talking with Xander, who'd said that he didn't want to leave Harry, their aunt reluctantly agreed and spoke with Mrs. Khosmik until it was decided that both boys would go over to her house the last Friday before break and stay the weekend. Now it was finally time and the day couldn't have gone any slower for the redhead.

"I- isn't Ari coming o- over as well?" Xander finally asked as they were instructed by their teacher to turn in their papers and line up for music class which the small redhead was extremely excited for as he'd somehow succeeded in getting the form he'd needed signed by his aunt and now would continue to work on the model piano he'd begun making out of cardboard, popsicle sticks and loads of other things he'd gotten three Fridays earlier.

"Yes, but she's not at school today because she had a dentist visit." His friend explained and Xander nodded.

After that day when the small Potter had gotten hurt, Dudley had found out who'd gotten the teacher and after that, Jupiter had started to become a target for all the bullies in their year and in second year as they shared a lunch and recess with the grade above them, and with this, suddenly to the other children, the small black haired boy who'd been the life of recess before was now a taddle who no one wanted to play with in fear of being told on- for what exactly was anyone's guess. However the one for sure thing was that from the next day on, it became that Jupiter and Aria, Xander's two most best friends would join their redheaded schoolmate for recess in solitude and as a result became completely inseparable in everything they did and though to most children the bullying might have been so terrible, that they couldn't take it, the trio found that with each other their was nothing ever that could really ever truly hurt them...

Yet.

* * *

"Good morning children!" Came Ms. Pan's voice over the chatter of all the children and at her entrance, every child in the room, replied in unison, before going quiet so as to let her hurry up and speak and allow the class to get continuing on with their projects.

"I can't wait to finish my instu- inam- istra- insta-"

"Instrument."

"That."

The small redheaded Potter smiled at his friend as he looked at the picture-instructions in the book he'd gotten from the teacher after everyone dispersed and used the image to help him build his own instrument. "You're building a guitar right?"

His black haired friend nodded enthusiastically, "It's going to have awesome flames!"

"My piano is going be be black."

"Wicked."

After they worked on their projects for about forty-five minutes, they were instructed to put them away before the bell rang and music class was over.

As Xander closed his book and did as he was told, being careful as he did, he couldn't help but think about his year so far and how very different it was from the previous. He was in school now, with actual friends! And even though it wasn't perfect with his relatives, he knew that they would never really hurt him. After he put away his things and Mr. Fauscett made his way into the room to collect the class, the young Potter continued to dwell on his life and as he did, the subject of magic and how it might he affecting his life, crossed his mind however, realizing that either way there was nothing he could do to prove or disprove anything, he decided that it would be much better for him if he didn't think about that subject as a factor in his life at all for now.


	10. Acceptance

**_Fun Fact:_ I got the name Alexander from a short story I had written on paper awhile back, about a boy who went to school with James and Lily. (A/N: If you want, I can publish it here.)**

* * *

 _ **[December 21, 1984]**_

"So honestly, you like him?"

"As long as he doesn't cause too much trouble and won't distract you too much." Replied the silk voice of his new father and John smiled. "Nonetheless it is very nice to meet you little John." He added as the three of them then made their way inside the home, women and child following behind the man who had introduced himself earlier to the child as Vecton

The day before Christmas, they had drove first for what to the small boy in the backseat felt like a gazillion hours until they had reached a very large house where they would spend Christmas with Vecton's family, who to the young boy's amazement all seemed to have the exact same color of dark piercing blue eyes.

It had all been very wonderful and exciting to the small child in the beginning, until he noticed his new father's brother who for some reason continued to stare at him all through dinner until his own father became angry and whispered something to him which made him look away and caused Vecton to become then also irritated.

He didn't understand what was so very interesting about himself, nor did he really care except for his distaste for the looks glanced his his way by the O:Lyalls.

So finally after supper on their third night with his new father's family, he decided to ask his mother who smiled and said, "They're simply excited to see just how special and perfect you are." At that answer the redhead crossed his arms tightly over his chest, an annoyed pout forming on his small features.

"Well, they should take a picture. It would last longer." He said and his mother smiled sweetly.

After his talk with his mother; the stares seemed to cease except for the occasional glance which always seemed to leave the small boy feeling exposed and vulnerable.

Why in the world were they so interested in him?

 _ **[December 18, 1987]**_

Blue, cold and empty

Those were the words that described the eyes of Vecton O'Lyall, the words that came to John Alexander's mind every time he let his fear get to him and he was once again trapped within his nightmares with no hope at all of excape...

There was The House with all it's horrific beauty. At first sight, it looked elegant and subtle with its glimmering exterior, small but well built interior and brand new furniture. Most people who saw the home were suddenly caught off guard with amazement at how such a home could even exist however what they didn't know was what went on behind the locked doors of that beautifully horrific place.

They never knew of the cold gaze that was passed from father to child every time the small boy's blood had to be scrubbed from the rug by the very boy who'd bled rhere only mere minutes before. They could not have given even a single guess as to why the carpets in the home were so often changed and they most certainly couldn't have guessed that as they sat down with their families and tucked into supper, that the bloody boy in the beautiful home was laying in a heap, hoping with all his bones that his next punishment would be his last.

Blue, cold and empty were the words that were used by a small fragile redhead to describe Vecton O'Lyall's eyes...

Yet, if those were his father's eyes and his father had been murdered, then how are those orbs of cold hatred staring at him through the darkness as he slept?

"Harry... Plea- Please... Wake up..."

"Go back to bed Xander..."

"Harry, pl- please Harry... I'm scared."

"Go to bed." Harry munbled in his sleep for the hundredth time that hour as he rolled over and faced away from his brother and as he did this, Xander knew now for sure that the green eyed boy would not wake up and that he was alone, very scared and would have to deal with his fear without any help.

Usually his brother would have easily woken up and would have comforted him if his aunt wasn't awake but because this was one of those very rare nights where he wouldn't be made to wake up early and perform countless chores, he knew his brother would sleep as much as he could no matter what unless somebody was actually dying. Not to mention that It was late... Very late, around two in the morning last Xander checked and he couldn't sleep because of what he would see every time he closed his eyes and attempted to drift away into a dream. There was those eyes, always there... Always watching him like a predator stalking it's prey. The small Potter knew as he crawled away from his brother and back into his borrowed sleeping bag that he really shouldn't be scared, that those eyes- those dark blue unloving eyes could not harm him but he just couldn't help how he felt. The dream he'd had felt so real. In his sleep, he hadn't even been in his old dark home but had been here in this house- Jupiter's house.

Those eyes had pierced the darkness and had stared right at him and-

"Hey Xander? Are you alright?"

The small redhead jumped and was just about call out before realizing it was only Jupiter's older brother, the small Potter closed his mouth, and sighed with a nod. "I- I- I'm o- o- okay."

"Are you sure? I saw you trying to wake Harry, Have a nightmare or something?" At this, the small boy, knowing that he was not going to get any sleep anytime soon, sat up and looked at the boy who to his surprise was standing in the doorway.

They had all hung out the night before; playing, laughing and even with the hazel eyed Potter being his mostly quiet self had evejoyed the evening nonetheless. It had been a truly wonderful time, with plenty of space to play and not as many rules as most parents would have had, they were wild. All of them ending up going to sleep in the living room, with Jupiter, Aria and himself finding themselves closer to the door to the hallway and Harry and Neptune having fallen asleep on the fold out mattress of the couch. How had Xander not noticed the oldest boy's absence when attempting to wake up his brother? It's not as if he was particularly small or average enough to miss.

"Wh- what a- are you do- doing awake?"

The older black haired boy shrugged, "I couldn't sleep so I went and was talking with my dad, he couldn't sleep either."

"Oh..." Xander trailed off as he watched the other male walk over and sit in front of him on the floor and that's when he noticed. "Yo- you've showered again."

Before they'd all gone to sleep, Jupiter's parents had ordered them all to take showers and Xander distinctly remembered Neptune going last after he and their father had gone off to get some movies and snacks for them all to enjoy but now here he was, Black hair wet and wearing completely different pajamas then before.

"Uh? Oh yes, I spilt sodapop on myself so I showered because I was all sticky." He explained and Xander nodded. "So, what was your nightmare about? My birthfather used to say that it's better to talk about these things and not hold them inside."

The smaller redhead shook his head and was just about to explain that he wasn't comfortable talking about his nighrmares, especially those of his past, though the older boy's presence was helping when suddenly he saw something move at the corner of his vision and he froze. He looked at where Jupiter and Aria lay still sleeping and then where Harry lay and confirming that all of them had not been the source of the novement, he bit his lip and looked at Neptune, who was raising an eyebrow, obviously having not noticed the disturbance in the darkness behind him. "Did you see that?"

Neptune turned and looked behind himself and then turning back, he shook his head. "It's probably just one of the others turning in their sleep."

"No! I saw something... Something else!"

"Xander, it's okay, you're just tired and need-"

"No, I'm not! I saw something, I really dId!" The red head now practically pleaded, he needed to be believed, needed for someone else to see what he saw, needed something to help him not feel all alone.

"Shhh, or you'll wake the others." Was the boy's first response and at this, before he could say more, Xander closed his mouth tight and nodded. He had so wanted to be believed, by anyone, even if it was just his best friend's older brother, but now looking down at his hands as he tried to imagine what on earth it was that he had seen and accepting that no one would ever believe him, he shook his head as the boy in front of him realized what his words had meant to the redhead. "Hey Xan, I'm sor-"

"N- no i- it's a- al- alright, but I th- think I'm r- ready to sl- sleep now."

The other boy bit his lip, an apologetic look on he face. "I'm sorry Xander."

"Goodnight." Was Xander's only response and without letting him say anymore, The youngest Potter pulled his knees to his chest and fell over into his sleeping bag, a small bit of anger filling his veins. That wasn't even directed at the older dark, haired boy but rather at himself filling his veins as he did. Why was he so upset at Neptune for not believing or listening to him? It really could have been his eyes tricking him, especially after his nightmare, but... He shook his head, his eyes watering. He always got so mad at himself or so sad at the wrong times.

"Hey Xander, I'm really sorry... I'm just used to Jup always making up stories so he could sleep in my or our parents rooms, it was instinct not spite or anything." The older boy whispered and at his words, the redhead looked up at him.

"W- wh- why w- w- would J- J- Jup l- lie."

"Because he's scared of the dark." Neptune began, a large smile on his face but was suddenly on the floor as a small dark haired figure tackled him from behind.

"Am not!"

Xander looked surprised at his best friend but as the two boys began to wrestle, Suddenly the red head was laughing, not his usual small, controlled chuckle, but a hearty sound that filled the air and caused the other two boys to freeze in mid wrestle. It was not even an uncommon sight to see, the two brothers playfully fighting but the small Potter couldn't help it as he was only six and despite everything, he found the way the two boys acted to be very funny. When the pair of them stopped though, it was only to stare at him a few seconds before laughing themselves. Then, when they were settling into silence again, the older dark haired boy asked his brother, "Did we wake you Jup?"

"Nah, I gots to go to the loo, but after what you said I thought I could go on you." the boy said and his brother moved away from him.

"Ew, don't go on me, just go." He said and his brother laughted again before standing up and running off, and out of the living room.

 _ **[May 4, 1988]**_

"I can't believe I'm seven years old."

"Me neither and I've been seven now for ten months now."

"Sorry that I couldn't get you anything by the way."

Harry smiled at his brother and shook his head. "You had just gotten here and also you had been through so much." He began, then quieter. "Plus where would you have gotten the money?"

At that Xander's small smile faded and he nodded. "True."

He had been living at his relatives house for just nearly a year now and knew very well that Harry had a very valid point. On the older boy's last birhday, the younger Potter hadn't even found out what day it had been until his brother had told him because all he'd gotten that day was a shoe lace and that, Xander had initially thought was because the stupid dog down the street had chewed his last one on his left shoe up a month before the redhead had even arrived, when it had attacked Harry while he'd been mowing their lawn.

Then on Christmas, neither of them had received anything from the Dursleys, though they did each get a couple new outfits and a chocolate Santa from Mr. John, who apparently loved the type of candy very much himself and still came around to talk with Xander every once in awhile whenever the small boy was having a particularly bad day, which just so happened to still be about twice a week but sometimes he wouldn't even have one bad day in a week then, he would have bad days everyday in one week and he supposed it really did all depend and didn't much matter in the end.

"Have you had anymore bad dreams?" The green eyed Potter suddenly asked, wanting to change the topic of conversation from their horrid relatives and his small brother nodded in response

"Yes, but It's not just that I've..." The redhead trailed off, not really wanting to tell his brother what he hadn't been telling him so far, yet needing to tell him. Ever since their sleepover at Jupiter's house, where Xander had not just had the best time of his short life and at the same time had also had one of the worst nightmares in his life, he had also seen something very strange in the early hours of the morning that had for some reason nearly caused him to get angry at his best friend's older brother who had chalked what Xander had seen up to him being tired.

Though in reality as he'd thought about that night in the weeks afterward, it had really become obvious to the small boy that not anger but fear was what he'd felt that night and every night since when he would wake up in the early hours of the night to something moving, just out of his line of vision, yet always within the same room as him. The worst and scariest part of everything being that no matter what he did, he seemed to be the only one who ever saw and was bothered by the disturbances and with this knowledge, he knew for sure that despite wanting to tell someone else, especially Harry of what he was seeing, he knew that they would not believe him and might think him completely mad. So once again in his life, John Alexander found himself feeling very alone and very worried.

"You've what?" Harry asked in a sudden whisper, leaning forward curiously to listen.

"I've... Been." The smaller boy squirmed where he sat, now feeling very uncomfortable. Why had he said anything at all? Why can't he learn to shut his mouth? Why? Because he really wanted someone to know despite his better judgment telling himself to keep his mouth closed though, he knew he could never tell. He really wanted to tell his brother though, hell he wanted to scream it at him; to tell him how scared he was now all the time, to tell him of the movements and then remind him of the blue eyes he saw everytime he slept but he knew he couldn't. He just wasn't all that brave. He didn't want Harry to discard what he said, Just like Neptune had and yet, he also didn't want his brother to believe him because that would make things a lot worse. If Harry believed, then that would make what he was seeing feel more true and he didn't want that.

It was just all so horridly confusing!

"I've b- been w- won- wondering about y- you." He finally decided, turning things around so that the topic of Xander and his dreams could fade away for the time being.

Harry sat back and raised an eyebrow, not expecting the sudden turn in conversation. "Me? Why have you been wondering about me?"

The redheaded Potter bit his lip and searched his mind quickly for a response, he didn't really want to ask about the older boy's dreams, for he could guess by his sleep talking that they in themselves were not much more pleasant then his own but what else was there to wonder about, Harry eventually would want to know more about what his brother saw, and also, Harry James was much braver then he, so finally finding the best way to ask, he replied hesitantly, "I- I he- hear yo- you ta- talking in y- your sleep s- some- sometimes."

The older boy smiled after a moment and nodded, unlike his brother who was very secretive about his dreams and nightmares, the older boy sometimes seemed almost eager to talk about his, except that what he always talked about were for the most part good dreams, never being too bad, though Xander could only remember hearing his brother talk unpleasantly in his sleep a few times, the boy never so much as spoke of it and that's when it hit him. Harry wasn't more open about his nightmares, just better about hiding them from his brother, he was more precise about which ones to talk about. Once he had even told Xander of a dream where he'd been very small and for some reason flying around the house on something.

"Like a carpet?" The younger Potter had asked and his brother gave a noise, indicating that he was incorrect.

"More like a broomstick, but I must've been small though, very tiny because everything around me was so big and there was a cat, I seemed to like to chase it."

Sounds fun."

"Oh yeah!"

After that, they had quietly laughed about it, brushing it off as nothing, but now as they talked again, and the older boy described to his brother, a dream of flying on a motorcycle, something began to occur to the smaller of the two Potters and his eyes widened ever so slightly.

He'd heard of a flying motorcycle somewhere but where? He'd been nearly unconcious he thought, because he'd remembered thinking that what he was hearing was in his dreams, and then there was the nice elderly man and the other two, the ones who'd brought him here. They'd been talking about how he was taken from the house after the fire. Could he have ridden on a fly- then it hit him like a wayward train and he gasped. "What?" His brother suddenly asked but before even thinking about responding, the younger boy got to his feet and hurried to the closet as fast as he could. He was sure now, that he really had heard of and even possibly flown in a flying motorcycle! Not that long ago, if his memory was serving him correctly anyway.

Throwing open the closet door, grabbing his bag and pulling open the zipper, the small redhead was just about to open the bag completely and began searching for whatever it was that he was searching for when he froze. "Xander, what is it?" Harry now demanded, getting off the bed himself, to see for sure what his younger brother was up to.

"No n- never- nevermind, it- it was n- nothing." The younger boy now said so quietly his brother could barely hear him as he let the zipper fall and his thoughts began to catch up with his racing mind. Did he really want to know? After all, With everything that had been happening as a result of all the other strange things that had been going on around him, did he really need something to add on to everything else. He wasn't sure but, What if..? What if Magic- He shook his head, cutting off his own thoughts.

He remembered hearing about that flying bike, after he'd been taken from the house, but what if he had just been dreaming? Though the chances of him and Harry having similar dreams about the same flying bike..? Possible maybe? But he couldn't look, couldn't bring himself to check to see if it being more were true because if it were true... His thoughts now trailed as former thoughts crawled mercilessly through him. If he HAD really flown on a magic flying motorcycle then it was all real and as much as the evidence continued being pressed right up against his nose, he didn't want to believe it. Didn't want to accept that he, John Alexander Potter had murdered his stepfather, no matter how horrible the man had been. Then there was his mother, sweet Mother Miriam. Scared Mother Miriam. Angry Mother Miriam.

He didn't see her die but he could only imagine her horrified screams as she burned to death for after he'd passed out and his concentration on Vecton had ceased, the fire had spread as quickly as a magical fire could and within seconds, everything the small boy had ever known within that house had burned. The beautiful walls had crumpled, the high roof had caved, the sparkling windows had shattered and every other thing contained within the structure that had lived or not, aside from himself had been reduced to nothing more then ash and bone.

Finally, after a few moments of silence as Harry stared at him, Xander nodded and shoved the duffle beg back into his closet and stood on shaking legs. "I- I ju-Just thought I left m- my Walkman so- somewhere, but it's th- there." He lied and with a disbelieving nod, his older brother followed Xander downstairs as it was time for supper.

 ** _[June 8, 1987]_**

"Yes Dumblefore sir, 'e was 'ery good. The lad only woke once, but I got 'im back ter sleep alright." Hagrid smiled at the Headmaster before turning his head and looking down at the heap in his arms. Then as an afterthought, he added. "When 'e did wake, we took a stop see and I laid him in some soft grass :cause 'e was gettin' restless, and I thought the softness of the grass mightin' 'elp 'im with 'is pain see, so I laid 'im down an then 'e picked up this really glittery rock 'ere?" Hagrid held up the limp arm of the child he held and there clutched in the small pale hand was a small but beautiful white stone that glittered under the candle light.

"It's beautiful Hagrid."

"Professor Dumbledore! I'm here!" The two males then turned their heads and nodded at Poppy Pomfrey, who had been called upon to take care of the boy as Professor Dumbledore did not trust anyone not to find out who the boy was and his relation to Harry.

"Thank you madam. Now please take him and be very careful with our young friend here." Professor Dumblefore waved his hands and with that, Hagrid and Madam Promfrey took the boy with them as they left.

Now was time to call Severus away from his vacation to discuss this matter... Perhaps though, he should wait until tomorrow as to give the Nurse time to heal what she could.

 _ **[May 5, 1988]**_

It was there again, the shadow that so often haunted the boy when he was alone, it was just there, in the corner, seeming to stare not at, but more rather right through him as he lay awake in bed, but that reason was not why he was awake still at nearly three in the morning.

No, not tonight.

Tonight, it was because of something that chilled the boy far more than possible hallucinations.

It was because it was all true, all of it... Everything he'd begun to discover over the past year was all true and this time, he was sure for gathering up his courage, he'd found what he'd hoped he wouldn't. He'd waited until the house was silent, not wanting anyone else to be burdened by his own findings.

At the bottom of his bag, which he'd only finally decided to open, about an hour after his brother and everyone else had fallen asleep was the rock. Small and white, he remembered all too well now when he'd seen it, as he had lain painfully still in the tall damp grass, he'd seen it sparkling softly in the sun and had grabbed it, thinking that he would take it with him to heaven and hold it as a reminder of his past.

But he hadn't died, hadn't gone to heaven rather instead, had flown into a new life that day, where he would soon end up here, laying now, in his bed, far too scared to even close his eyes because of what he knew.

Magic was all too real and he was a murderer.

He would never be able to tell his brother, because of what the green eyed boy might think. Harry James Potter would never truly know what his brother was.

Xander would make certain of that.

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 **A/N: Hey everybody, I hope you liked the chapter and please let me know if anything is wrong with it, I haven't been feeling myself lately, so again let me know of mistakes. Anyway, now because I have been taking so long, I'm going to give you a sneak peek into what's to happen in the next couple chapters as it will be a two parter! :)**

 **Please Review with thoughts!**

 **Enjoy!**

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 _ **(Next Chapters: Into The Woods Parts 1 &2)**_

 _ **[October 1, 1989 - April 15, 1990]**_

"You're a monster! A killer!"

"I was only- he was gonna kill you!"

"You- You blew him up!"

"Jup p- pl- please."

"Don't call me that Xander!" His former only friend was scared, having seen the other boy do something not only horrifying but impossible as well. He was standing at least eight feet away from the redhead as he glared. "My mum thinks I'm lying you know? She doesn't believe you just blew up that man and then-! AND THEN! You deny it! I know what I saw Xander and you're a monster!"

"In any case, my mum says we can't be friends anymore."

The redhead nodded tearfully as he slowly turned to leave.

He should've never agreed to play in that forest.

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 **A/N: Please Review!**


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